


The Nimbus Harry

by juhele



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Anger, Book 5: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Canon Compliant, Developing Relationship, Eating Disorders, Excessive Excercising, Fluff, Harry Has Issues, Hermione Granger & Harry Potter Friendship, Hermione Granger & Ron Weasley Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Protective Ron Weasley, Ron Weasley is a Good Friend, Slow Burn, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-11
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-18 05:08:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 21,918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29977839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/juhele/pseuds/juhele
Summary: Ron is worried about his best friend after the aftermath of the Triwizard Tournament and he is determined to do something. So, he decides to break all the rules set by Dumbledore and, with the help of the twins, brings Harry to the Burrow. From there on, he refuses to leave Harry's side and makes a resolution to be there for the other boy. It is not an easy task, as Harry is struggling. And, somewhere along the way, Ron is not sure when, Harry became the only thing Ron cared about.Very slow burn Harry/Ron from Ron's POV. A story about a close friendship developing into something more. Ron watches Harry struggle and self-destruct and tried to help him. Please be aware of cw: eating disorder, excessive exercising, anger issues and slight suicidal thoughts.
Relationships: Harry Potter/Ron Weasley
Comments: 10
Kudos: 55





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be a one-shot but it was getting too long, so I decided to break it into probably three chapters. Enjoy!

Ron woke up on the first day of the summer holidays feeling extremely worried. They said goodbye to Harry at King’s Cross the night before and Ron didn’t want to leave him to go back to Privet Drive. Ron’s parents were trying to get Harry to stay in the Burrow this summer, after what happened during the last task of the Triwizard Tournament, but Dumbledore wouldn’t hear it. It seemed so long ago to Ron when he was angry at Harry for being in the Tournament. Merlin, how stupid he felt. He got a grip in the end, yes, but he still felt guilty for not being there for his friend. For being stupidly jealous. Of what? It all ended in the worst possible way. The whole of their fourth year just felt so obscure.

Truth to be told, Ron was terrified. Not for himself. But for Harry. He knew his friend pretty well by now, but there were still some mysteries around the boy. Harry just liked to keep to himself sometimes. And Ron understood. But now, he was worried Harry would again shut himself off when he really needed someone to be there for him. Now more than ever. Ron almost wanted to go to Privet Drive with him but he couldn’t. He felt so useless.

Even though it was summer, Ron really didn’t have much time to relax. Over the next few days, Mrs Weasley would pester all of her children and they were slowly getting ready to move into the Headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix. Speaking of which, no one would really tell him, or anyone else, much about it. Everything was a secret. And to add to this, he wasn’t allowed to tell Harry anything. He got a few letters from the other boy, and it was so obvious that he was feeling lonely and miserable. But Ron was only allowed to send him short vague replies. It was driving him insane. It all escalated after the first two weeks when Ron received a rather disturbing letter from Harry.

> _Ron_
> 
> _I really need you to tell me something. Please. I have no idea what is happening. I feel like I’m being locked up, or held in prison for something and I’m not sure for what. I need to know if you’ve talked to Dumbledore, or anyone, really._
> 
> _I have a really bad feeling something might happen. My head is just spinning all the time. I keep having nightmares and it was really bad last night. I don’t know happened. I went on a walk to clear my head. It was the middle of the night. Then, suddenly I realised I was running. I must have zoned out completely. I was so far away from the house and it was afternoon. When I made it back, it was already evening and the Dursleys were so angry with me for not doing my chores that they locked me up in my room again. I think I’m going mad._
> 
> _Please, Ron. You’re my best friend. I wrote to Hermione, but she never tells me anything either. But I thought you would._
> 
> _I’m thinking of running away. I don’t care anymore._
> 
> _I just can’t do it anymore._
> 
> _I hope, you’re okay._
> 
> _Harry_

It was the first time Ron truly regretted they no longer had the flying car because what he really wanted to do was to take it and drive to Surrey, kidnap Harry, and bring him to the Burrow. But he couldn’t. They were moving to Grimmauld Place tomorrow and he wasn’t allowed to tell Harry anything. Which was utterly stupid, in Ron’s opinion. He needed to do something and he needed to do it quickly. And he knew who exactly to ask for help.

*

“He can’t just run away, there are Aurors watching him,” said Fred as soon as he finished reading Harry’s letter, with George reading it over his shoulder.

“Well, they obviously didn’t notice Harry running off in the middle of the night!” growled Ron. “He’s not well and they don’t even try to help him! What good are they for?”

“Right,” nodded George. “So, what do you suggest we do? I’m sure if we just Apparated there, they would notice and then Mum would kill us.”

“Well, that’s why I came to you,” said Ron sheepishly. “Thought you might have an idea.”

“Look, Ron, we’re on your side, we are,” said Fred.

“Yes, but we have to be clever about this, alright?” continued George.

“So, no telling anyone else!” reminded Fred. “We will have to find out when Mundungus is patrolling the place because no way anyone else would simply miss Harry running away in the middle of the night.”

“Right, right,” nodded Ron. “How do we do that?”

“Lucky for you, little brother,” smiled George mischievously. “We’ve been listening to Mum and Dad’s conversations with this,” he took out the Extendable Ear.

“They talk about Harry a lot, actually,” Fred carried on. “I reckon if we get him here, no one will send him back. Sure, we’ll get punished and everything but once he is here, there’s nothing they can do, is there?”

“Plus, Mum wants to have him here too,” Ron pointed out. “So, I hope that secretly she would be pleased.”

“Alright, so from what we’ve been eavesdropping on, Mundungus is there every third night or so,” said George.

“Which means that you are extremely lucky,” continued Fred. “Because it looks like he’ll be there tomorrow night.”

“Brilliant!” beamed Ron. “Let’s plan this, then.”

*

Fred and George discreetly listened to the conversation Mr and Mrs Weasley had that evening, and there was nothing hinting that Mundungus wasn’t on the shift the following night. The next day the whole family moved to Grimmauld Place, which was a very chaotic event. That was good because it meant no one would probably notice they were gone for a few hours in the evening. The house was huge and, honestly, looked very miserable. As well as Sirius did. He seemed to put some effort because of them, but it was obvious the man spent most of his day drinking. Hermione was already there as well, which was a problem. Because Ron was sure she wouldn’t approve of their plan and he also was sure that she would notice they left. As much as Hermione also hated keeping Harry in the dark, she strictly followed the rules set by Dumbledore. But Ron just couldn’t anymore.

That evening, Ron, Fred and George, were ready. There was a meeting of the Order before dinner, which was perfect because no one would look for them for a while. So, they quietly left the house, which was easy enough with so many people in it, no one noticed three figures just slipping out of the front door. Then, they quickly walked to a secluded alleyway, Ron grabbed onto Fred and the three of them Apparated. It wasn’t the first time Ron side-alonged with someone. He did a few times with Mr Weasley. But the twins only just got their licence for Apparating, so the whole thing was a bit messy and Ron felt more nauseous than usual. They Apparated under a bridge, not far away from Privet Drive. They walked quickly, grateful that was getting dark already, so their red hair wasn’t that visible. As they reached Number 4, the trickiest part came – getting to Harry without causing havoc. They peered through the front window and could see Harry’s aunt and uncle sitting in the living room, watching some kind of box, which Ron thought they called the _tellyvision_. They carefully climbed over the fence into the back garden and walked under Harry’s window. Then, Ron through a pebble at the window. Nothing happened. Ron threw another one. And another one. After the fifth attempt, a head full of messy dark hair finally peered out. Harry’s eyes widened as soon as he saw them and he quickly opened the window.

“Ron!” he called; his voice full of surprise. “What are you guys doing here?”

“Rescuing you, of course!” grinned Ron.

“Again,” added Fred.

“Only this time we have no car, thanks to you two, actually,” said George.

“I … you …,” Harry stuttered.

“We can chitchat later, Harry,” said Fred. “You pack your suitcases now!”

“Are you still locked in?” asked Ron worriedly.

“No, they unlocked it. Someone had to cook, after all,” replied Harry and Ron’s heart broke a little at that.

“Alright, then pack and meet us at the front porch?” asked George. “Can you do that discreetly?”

“Yes, I think so. Dudley’s not here now, so it’ll be easy,” nodded Harry and let Hedwig out of her cage, she immediately flew off.

“Okay, hurry up then,” smiled Ron. “We’ll be waiting.”

Harry nodded frantically and disappeared from the window. Ron, Fred and George carefully climbed the fence again and waited on the front porch. It took only about five minutes for the front door to open. Harry was putting a lot of effort into opening it quietly. He carefully pushed his suitcase through the door and then closed it behind himself.

“Is that everything?” asked George.

“You were done fast!” commented Fred.

“I was already mostly packed, just in case,” blushed Harry. “And I don’t have many things.”

Indeed, Ron knew that most of the things Harry owned fit into that suitcase and the backpack that Harry was carrying. He wanted to say something to the other boy, to hug him, to reassure him but the twins started walking immediately.

“We’ve got to be quick,” said Fred. “You ever Apparated, Harry?”

“N-no,” stuttered Harry.

“Well, you might not like it then,” grinned George as they reached the bridge again.

When they made sure that no one was around, Ron grabbed onto Fred again and George took hold of Harry. They Apparated not far away from the Burrow since they were not able to bring Harry to Grimmauld Place without telling other people first. Ron looked at Harry, who seemed to feel very ill.

“It’s okay, you can throw up, I did the first time,” he said, trying to sound reassuring.

Harry didn’t throw up, just needed time to catch his breath. Ron carefully put his hand on Harry’s back as the other boy was bent, holding onto his knees, his legs shaking. Merlin, he was thinner again and Ron just wanted to stuff him with treacle tart.

“Alright,” Fred interrupted Ron’s train of thought. “We’ll Apparate back to the Headquarters now, and cover for you. They will come for you later, I reckon, anyway, though.”

“Yeah, but at least we can buy you some time,” added George.

With that, the twins disappeared again and Ron was left with Harry. They walked quietly to the Burrow and settled in the living room.

“Where is everyone, Ron? What Headquarters?” asked Harry once they were sitting on the sofa.

“We moved to the Headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix,” sighed Ron. “We couldn’t take you there because technically no one knows we went for you.”

“What is that?”

“It’s a secret society Dumbledore created to fight Voldemort,” explained Ron. “Look, Harry, I don’t know much about it, we moved there today, and no one really tells us anything either. I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you anything in the letters but Dumbledore forbade us.”

“He … w-why?” Harry stammered out.

“I don’t know,” sighed Ron. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t want to be a bad friend. Neither did Hermione. Everyone is just so bloody weird.”

“Yeah,” chuckled Harry weakly. “I just don’t understand. So, no one knows I’m here now?”

“They probably know now,” said Ron. “They’ve got Aurors trailing you. But what they’re going to do about it? You’re here now. They can’t send you back. I won’t let them.”

“R-really?” Harry finally looked at him and Ron felt a pang in his chest. Harry’s eyes were slightly wet and he seemed to be putting a lot of effort into not crying. Godric, he looked so tired as well.

“No. I’m sure Mum is going to be on our side eventually. And Sirius as well. I heard he’s been fighting with Dumbledore constantly,” replied Ron. “They all just want you to be safe.”

“If they wanted that, they wouldn’t let me compete in the Tournament,” scoffed Harry.

“Yes, well,” shrugged Ron.

“Doesn’t matter,” smiled Harry. “Thank you … for coming to get me.”

“Of course, mate,” grinned Ron. “You have no idea how much I worried about you every day.”

“Hm,” Harry murmured softly and looked out of the window. “I worried about you too. Since your replies were so vague, I almost thought it wasn’t you.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault,” Harry assured him and turned to him once again.

He was hugging his knees close to his chest and he looked so small. Ron had the urge to tug him into a blanket and curl to his side, making sure that he was alright. It was strange. Ron had these protective thoughts more often now. He used to have them before since Harry was getting into all sorts of dangers. However, they grew stronger throughout the course of last year. Ron supposed it was because of the Tournament and then because of its aftermath. Still, it was different from the protectiveness he felt towards his siblings. Ron didn’t really try to explore this feeling further. After all, he supposed it was a good thing, wanting to protect your friends and wanting them to be safe. And he wanted to do anything for Harry to be safe. Suddenly, there was a burst of green fire in the fireplace and Mrs Weasley stormed out of it.

“Ronald Weasley!” she yelled. “How dare you! The foolishness of you and your brothers!”

“Mum, I-,” Ron stammered out but got cut off immediately.

“Not a word! Do you understand how terrified we were? You just disappeared! Did you think we wouldn’t notice? Did you think no one would notice three gingers Apparating into Surrey? Do you understand how lucky you were?” Mrs Weasley shouted and Ron could feel his ears getting red.

“Mrs Weasley,” said Harry in a weak voice. “I’m sorry, it’s my fault.”

“Harry, dear, you don’t need to apologize,” replied Mrs Weasley with a sudden change of voice. A very kind voice, Ron noted.

“It’s not Harry’s fault,” said Ron. “It was my decision to go. He didn’t ask me or anything. I’m sorry, but it was not fair on him. He was alone, Mum. And after what happened,” Ron carried on and, in the corner of his eye, he could see Harry looking down on the floor, as if ashamed.

“Ron, don’t you think I know that?” asked Mrs Weasley, her voice kinder now. “I didn’t agree with that. I wanted Harry to stay here with us. But it wasn’t our decision to make.”

“Whose was it then?” asked Ron, hotly. “If not ours, if not Harry’s? Who else’s?”

“No matter,” sighed Mrs Weasley, her shoulders sinking. “Dumbledore was furious. But there is nothing we can do now. Sending Harry back would only raise suspicion. I suppose your relatives won’t look for you?”

“No,” Harry shook his head. “If they ever decide to check my room, I left them a note.”

“Alright then,” she smiled. “Sirius is very proud of you both but you didn’t hear that from me. And … I am too, actually,” she said and both Ron and Harry looked at her surprised. “Oh, of course, I am. I was only worried. It was foolish. You could have been hurt. But I am glad you weren’t and that Harry is here.”

“Thanks, Mum,” smiled Ron. “So, what do we do now? Do we go to the Headquarters?”

“No,” Mrs Weasley shook her head. “Dumbledore decided that since Harry is already here, he shouldn’t move anywhere. Aurors are just outside securing the house, making sure that you’ll be safe. The rest of the children will come tomorrow and you all will stay here. We will keep the Headquarters just for the adults. Your father and I will stay here with you most of the time, though, so do not think about burning down the house.”

“Brilliant!” beamed Ron and hugged Mrs Weasley tightly. “Thanks, Mum.”

“What about Sirius?” asked Harry suddenly. “Am I allowed to see him?”

“Sirius cannot leave the Headquarters,” sighed Mrs Weasley. “But he was fighting about it with Dumbledore when I left. I think he might be able to Floo here at some point. Or we could stay at the Headquarters last week of summer, at least.”

“Alright,” nodded Harry. “Can you tell him I’m alright? And that I miss him?”

“Of course, dear,” she smiled. “Now, I brought you two some dinner. I’ll have to get back, they’re still discussing the whole situation. You boys will be alright, don’t go outside just yet, in any case. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Mrs Weasley hugged both of the boys tightly before disappearing into the fireplace again. Ron was expecting to be in trouble but Mrs Weasley surprised him. He and Harry heated up the leftovers and ate them together, in comfortable silence. After dinner, Ron led Harry into his room. He took out the extra mattress and placed it on the floor next to his own bed. He went to get Harry a pillow and a blanket while the other boy was getting ready to bed. Later, as they were both lying in their beds, Ron dared to speak.

“Are you okay?” he asked into the dark room.

“Y-yeah,” said Harry uneasily.

“I was just …,” he sighed. “I was worried. Your last letter … it was a bit disturbing.”

“Well … I’m not great,” replied Harry. “But I’m fine. You’ve done a lot, Ron, don’t worry. Go to sleep, alright?”

“Okay, then. Good night,” nodded Ron.

“Goodnight,” mumbled Harry softly.

*

Ron woke up in the middle of the night. Harry was thrashing his body frantically next to Ron’s bed and his face was all scrunched up. He was sweating and Ron, once again, felt his heart break a little bit.

“Harry,” he whispered and tried to touch the other boy’s shoulder lightly.

Harry’s eyes immediately shot open and he flinched away from Ron, breathing heavily and looking terrified. Ron didn’t dare to touch him again or even scoot closer to the edge of his own bed.

“It’s only me, Harry,” he whispered softly. “It’s okay. You’re in the Burrow. You’re safe.”

Harry looked around, like a scared deer and then his eyes settled back on Ron. His breathing calmed down a little bit, but he still looked frightened.

“’m sorry,” he mumbled, almost inaudibly, “didn’t want to wake you.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Ron assured him with a smile. “Do you need anything?”

“N-no,” Harry shook his head, “go back to sleep, I’ll be fine,” he said and it didn’t sound like he believed it himself.

“Do you … er … do you want to sleep here?” Ron asked carefully, not really sure what prompted him to ask that.

“W-what? W-why?”

“Sorry, I just … thought it might help,” shrugged Ron. “Whenever I had nightmares as a child, I would crawl to my parents’ bed … or to one of my brothers’ bed. It’s reassuring when you know you’re not alone.”

“Oh … I never … thought about that,” said Harry in a small voice.

“Only if you want. I don’t mind,” smiled Ron.

“O-okay,” whispered Harry nervously.

Ron beamed at Harry happily and moved towards the wall to make space for the other boy. Harry seemed to be contemplating his decision a little bit and then eventually, and reluctantly, he placed his pillow and blanket on Ron’s bed and climbed up.

“So … we just lie?” Harry asked quietly. “And sleep?”

“Yes, that’s pretty much it,” chuckled Ron. “I can tell you a story if you want.”

“N-no, that’s okay,” said Harry. “I’m not … I’m not a child.”

“Didn’t say you were,” sighed Ron. “But whatever you want.”

“Goodnight, Ron,” said Harry eventually. “And thanks.”

“No problem, mate,” mumbled Ron, almost asleep. “Sleep tight.”

The next time Ron woke up, the sun was beaming through the window already, and there was no one lying next to him. Ron blinked and looked around his room confusedly, but Harry was nowhere to be seen. He slowly got up and walked downstairs. Harry was sitting in the kitchen, petting Hedwig, who was nested on the wooden back of the chair next to him. He looked peaceful, somewhat soft as well. Ron almost didn’t want to disturb him, didn’t want to interrupt the train of thought the other boy was probably having. This was how he always wanted to remember Harry, calm and content, and, Ron hoped, happy. At that thought, Harry turned to him, smiled candidly at Ron, which made his heart skip a small beat.

“Good morning,” Harry greeted him softly. “I made tea and breakfast.”

“Hi,” smiled Ron. “Oh, thanks, that’s nice,” he beamed and sat down next to Harry, immediately diving into his eggs. “You slept well?” he asked, his mouth full, spitting some of the food out.

“Yes,” Harry chuckled at the sight. “Thank you. And … and you?” he asked somewhat nervously.

“Slept like a log,” grinned Ron. “I was thinking, Mum will probably give us loads of chores to do around the house, but maybe we could go flying at some point?”

“That would be nice,” nodded Harry.

It was very soon after their breakfast that the rest of the Weasleys, and Hermione, appeared. Hermione immediately hugged Harry, telling him that she didn’t want to be so vague in her letters and apologizing to the boy.

“It’s okay, Hermione,” Harry assured her, but Ron could see that he was suddenly feeling quite overwhelmed by the number of people in the house.

“And you!” Hermione turned to Ron suddenly. “Why didn’t you tell me you were going to get him?”

“I didn’t want to force you to lie for me,” said Ron easily. Truth to be told, he just didn’t want to tell Hermione. Some small, selfish part of him, wanted to be the one who comes to rescue Harry.

“Oh,” said Hermione. “That’s nice of you. But I would’ve helped.”

“I know, you’re brilliant,” grinned Ron, to which Hermione smiled a little. “I just thought the less people knew, the better. Only told Fred and George because they can Apparate.”

“Oi, we thought we had your undying trust!” exclaimed Fred dramatically, to which Ron only rolled his eyes.

As Ron guessed, Mrs Weasley had all sorts of chores and tasks ready for them, but it wasn’t as bad as the cleaning of the Grimmauld Place they were supposed to do. The Aurors secured the Burrow, so it was safe to go to the garden as well, which only meant they had to de-gnome it. After Mrs Weasley listed all the things, they would have to do on the daily to make sure the house was clean and wouldn’t burn down, she handed Harry a letter from Sirius. Harry immediately excused himself and went upstairs to Ron’s room to read it. Mrs Weasley started preparing lunch for everyone and Ron was left in the living room with Hermione, while the twins and Ginny disappeared to their rooms.

“How is he?” asked Hermione in a concerned voice.

“He’s doing okay, I think, considering everything,” replied Ron. “It’s just good that he’s here now. I don’t know what might have happened if he stayed there alone longer.”

“Yes,” nodded Hermione. “It’s a good thing you went for him. Stupidly brave, though,” she chuckled. “Lucky nothing happened.”

“Yeah. Lucky, we don’t have to stay in that awful house any more. I was only there for one day, don’t understand how Sirius is still somewhat sane.”

“Everyone was quite happy when it was decided we would stay here,” admitted Hermione. “Well, except Sirius, of course. He’d like us to be there. Or Harry.”

“Don’t understand why he cannot stay here,” said Ron, “we could just pretend we’ve got a new dog or something.”

“Yes, well. He was having a fight with Dumbledore last night about it. Said that if he needs to be bound to one place, he could at least stay here and keep an eye on us. But Dumbledore insisted that as the owner of Grimmauld Place he needs to be there, so they can keep using it,” explained Hermione.

“That’s stupid,” said Ron.

“Yeah, I don’t think they really trust him to keep an eye on us, you know,” sighed Hermione. “He has problems.”

“But surely if he was here, his problems would get better.”

“Some things just don’t go away like that, Ron,” said Hermione. “He was in Azkaban for twelve years and then two years on the run. That will mess up with your head.”

“I guess so,” shrugged Ron. “It just annoys me how they deal with things.”

“It annoys me too, but we don’t know the full picture of it,” said Hermione.

Ron nodded and then looked up, noticing a movement in the corner of his eye. Harry was standing in the doorframe, looking between the two of them. He seemed agitated. Not at all how he looked like in the morning. It almost seemed to Ron as if that was someone else. As if this Harry, was a different person. Suddenly, he quite missed the morning Harry. The noon Harry seemed sad, angry and frightened.

“You alright, mate?” asked Ron, trying not to sound worried.

“Y-yes,” he stammered. “Were you talking about me?”

“No, we were just chatting,” replied Ron, not really sure why he didn’t say the complete truth. “Nothing important.”

“Exactly,” nodded Hermione, bless her for being on Ron’s side of things. “No need to worry, Harry. What did Sirius say?”

“Not much,” shrugged Harry and sat down on the sofa next to Ron. “Just told me to stay put and that he is glad I am safe. That he’d like to be here but he can’t. And that he is sure we’ll see each other soon.”

“I’m sure you will,” Hermione smiled reassuringly.

“Want to play some chess, mate?” asked Ron, wanting to bring his friend to different thoughts.

“Sure.”

*

The days in the Burrow went by at a calm pace. However, Ron was constantly worried for his friend. Sometimes, Harry would seem content and happy, they would work in the garden or fly on their brooms, circling around the house, as they weren’t allowed to go further, and these moments Ron cherished. He would remember all the different laughs Harry had during those moments, the way his green eyes twinkled in the sunshine, how the sun playfully caressed his tanned skin, and the way his messy hair was somehow even messier after they chased each other on the brooms, and he would store these little images in special cupboards in his memory. But these moments were quite rare. Most of the time, Harry kept to himself, absentmindedly helping Ron and the others with the chores around the house. When they played chess, he would take a long time to move his figures, his mind seemingly somewhere else. He spent a lot of time with Mrs Weasley in the kitchen, helping her cook, but when Ron asked his mum about it, she said he mostly didn’t talk and that she didn’t force him. Sometimes, Harry would also seem angry for no reason, retorting replies as if he was cutting people with his words. Only a few times he did truly shout at Ron, and when that happened, Ron would just leave the other boy alone. Then there were also the nonstop nightmares. During the nights, Harry was the most vulnerable. He would always go to sleep on his mattress, then Ron would wake him up in the middle of the night, as the other boy was kicking from his nightmare, and Harry would climb into Ron’s bed without saying anything. Sometimes, Ron woke up in the morning to Harry already lying next to him. They never talked about it however, never acknowledged it. To Ron, it was like there were multiple different Harrys. It was confusing and worrying him at the same time. The thing that was driving him insane about the whole thing was that he didn’t know how to help and he felt useless. His friend was suffering and there was nothing he could do about it.

They didn’t have much information on what was happening with the Order, and at this point, Ron didn’t really care. Harry also seemed that he gave up trying to get any clues of what was the plan of Voldemort’s defeat. Dumbledore didn’t come to visit them, and Mr and Mrs Weasley didn’t say anything new. Ron was just glad Harry was there, and he was safe. He didn’t care about the rest.

There was also the issue with _The Daily Prophet_. When Ron and Hermione told Harry about all the articles that kept being published about him, calling him a liar, Harry closed himself in Ron’s room for a whole day. They didn’t talk about it after that either. And no one mentioned the journal again.

Soon enough, it was the middle of August and they got their letters with the list of books they would need for the upcoming school year. Ron also got a surprise in form of a Prefect pin. He couldn’t believe it. It must have been a mistake. Surely, Dumbledore would choose Harry. Hermione also got hers, but that was no surprise to anyone. When Harry saw Ron’s pin, he didn’t say anything at first and Ron almost felt guilty. But before he could even ask Harry if he was okay, Mrs Weasley noticed and started proudly gushing over Ron. So, Ron went to ask for a new broom as a reward and when he got back to his room, Harry was sitting on Ron’s bed.

“Congratulations, Ron,” said Harry, looked up at him and smiled. It was somewhat a sad smile.

“Thanks,” replied Ron. “It should’ve been you, though.”

“No, I caused too much trouble,” grinned Harry. “Besides, you deserve it.”

“I don’t know about that,” shrugged Ron and sat down on the bed next to Harry.

“You do,” Harry insisted. “Look, I’m sorry if I seemed to be angry or something. It’s just … you and Hermione … I kind of felt left out, I guess.”

“I don’t want you to feel left out,” said Ron.

“I know, it’s not your fault,” sighed Harry. “Sorry again. You really do deserve it.”

“Thanks,” beamed Ron and before he could think about it, he squeezed Harry’s hand reassuringly. The other boy looked at him strangely. It wasn’t a look of surprise, Ron was always quite affectionate towards his friends and family, it was a soft and content look. It was exactly the look that only one version of Harry would give him. The same version of Harry as from the morning after they rescued Harry from Privet Drive. And Ron was determined he would do anything, so this version of Harry is the more constant one. Harry only smiled slightly before he got up and went to congratulate Hermione on being a Prefect, leaving Ron alone in the room with his newfound determination.

*

The last week of the summer holidays was going to be spent at Grimmauld Place. Ron was not excited to be there, only one day he spent in that house and it made him never want to set his foot there again. But Harry was excited to finally be reunited with Sirius, which made Ron hopeful because Harry’s mood was not improving much over the past days. His scar was hurting a lot, even though he claimed it wasn’t, Ron could tell. In fact, there was rarely even a glimpse of the version of Harry that Ron was determined to bring out of him. He decided to call this version of Harry, the Nimbus Harry because Ron knew how much Harry loved his first broom. Harry, of course, loved his Firebolt too, because it was an amazing broom and it was from Sirius. But Ron associated the Nimbus 2000 with their first years at Hogwarts, with how they met and with how Harry’s eyes twinkled the first time he was up in the air.

They moved to Grimmauld Place, where Ron and Harry shared a room that was slightly bigger than Ron’s one in the Burrow. But it was quite dark, like the rest of the house. Harry disappeared with Sirius the first chance he got and Ron supposed that was good. Even though he was slightly sad he could not offer the same comfort to his friend as his godfather could. Whenever Harry distanced himself, Ron spent time with Hermione and Ginny, because the twins were usually busy with some funny business they were up to at the moment. But he missed his best friend, which was a strange feeling when they literally lived in the same house, even shared a bed most of the nights. That was an unspoken agreement between them. Harry would always crawl into Ron’s bed when he had a nightmare and neither of them would acknowledge it ever. Ron didn’t mind, he actually felt better when Harry was close to him when he could sense better if something was wrong. He only feared that this arrangement would stop abruptly when they came to Hogwarts. He wasn’t sure he was afraid of it more for Harry or for himself.

Most days in Grimmauld Place, they were helping to clean it. Ron could swear most of the summer he was just cleaning all the time. Not a great way to spend your holidays. The Grimmauld Place was miserable and Ron suddenly understood why Sirius drank so much. Merlin, if Ron was forced to stay there alone for longer than two days, he would probably drink himself to death already. And Ron didn’t have Azkaban behind him. Sirius actually looked quite miserable, truth to be told. Even though he seemingly put effort into looking presentable while they were there, it was obvious he was not coping well. And while Harry looked happy to be spending time with his godfather, he always seemed so sad in the evening, when he and Ron were alone in their room.

An incident happened in the middle of the week they were spending at Grimmauld Place. Mrs Weasley ran into a boggart in one of the rooms and they found her with the illusion of the Weasleys’ dead bodies in front of her. Although it disturbed everyone, Harry seemed to be most affected by the incident, as if he was blaming himself for the boggart, or for Mrs Weasley’s fear. Ron tried to talk to him but it was no use. In fact, it seemed that day by day, Harry was getting more distant and Ron feared he might never see the Nimbus Harry ever again.

*

Ron felt guilty for abandoning Harry on the train. He and Hermione had to attend the Prefects’ meeting and Harry seemed uncomfortable to be suddenly left alone. When Ron and Hermione found him after the meeting, he was in a compartment with Ginny, Neville and a girl from Ravenclaw that was in Ginny’s year, Ron couldn’t remember her name. Lily? Lizzie? Leslie? Something starting with an L. Luna! That was it. She was speaking softly, almost dream-like and Ron noticed Harry looking at her with an odd, yet peaceful, look.

Harry was quiet for most of the train ride. Ron offered him some of his snacks but the other boy always refused, saying he wasn’t hungry. Harry’s eating habits were another thing that worried Ron. He would never finish his meal when they had lunch or dinner together, and he almost always skipped breakfast. Ron was worried that soon there would be only bones left out of Harry and that they would shatter.

When they left the train and got to the carriages, Harry claimed there were some kinds of creatures pulling them. Ron didn’t see anything, and as far as he remembered, the carriages were always horseless. He didn’t want to think that Harry was hallucinating, however. Luna assured Harry that she saw them too, which didn’t really say much, in Ron’s opinion, because she seemed like the type of person who would hallucinate them. But Harry suddenly seemed a bit calmer and he looked at Luna with slightly surprised eyes, and there was something else in his look as well. He was grateful someone believed him. Ron’s chest ached at that a little bit. He believed Harry, he did, he was simply worried. When Ron looked at Hermione, she gave him a sympathetic smile. He and Hermione often talked about the worries they shared about Harry. But there were a lot of things Ron noticed about Harry that he didn’t voice to Hermione because he felt it would be unfair somehow. As if the things he noticed were some secrets that were not his to share, but were his to worry about.

The new DADA teacher was some pink tart from the Ministry, and Ron was sure she would give them a lot of problems in the future. What was also disturbing was Hagrid’s absence, his subject was being taken over by Professor Grubbly-Plank and the giant was nowhere to be seen. He and Hermione had to take care of the first years after the feast and when they returned to the common room, they found Harry and Seamus at each other’s throats. Ron broke them apart, telling Seamus where he can kindly shove his opinions about Harry and warning everyone if they have a problem with Harry, they also have a problem with him. The common room was quiet and Harry climbed to the dormitory, Ron followed him.

“You’re okay, mate?” asked Ron tentatively. “Seamus is a git, he’ll get over it, eventually. He just needs some ti-.”

“I’m fine, Ron!” snapped Harry and disappeared into the bathroom. When he came back, he didn’t say another word, just crawled in his own bed and shut the curtains around it.

Ron slept on the edge of his bed in case Harry crawled next to him during the night, but that never happened. Ron didn’t think it would, but a small part of him still hoped. He hated the idea that Harry was dealing with his nightmares alone. When they met Hermione in the common room the next morning, she told them Lavender’s been saying some nasty things about Harry as well.

“Been having a nice little chat with her about whether or not I’m a lying, attention-seeking prat, have you?” snapped Harry.

“No,” replied Hermione calmly. “I told her to keep her big fat mouth shut about you, actually. And it would be quite nice if you stopped jumping down our throats, Harry, because in case you haven’t noticed, Ron and I are on your side,” she said and Ron gave her a grateful look.

“Sorry,” said Harry, suddenly ashamed of himself.

“That’s quite all right,” said Hermione and smiled at Harry, who still seemed to have an internal struggle with himself. After that, they walked to breakfast together.

*

Defence Against the Dark Arts was a disaster. It couldn’t have gone worse, actually. Not only Umbridge seemed she wasn’t going to let them study properly, but she also had a strong problem with Harry. Harry’s temper was out of control after she called him a liar and even though Ron tried to reassuringly take his hand under the desk, Harry still stood up and kept shouting at Umbridge, which earned him a week of detention and he was sent to Professor McGonagall.

When Harry was serving detention with Umbridge every night, Ron sneaked out on the Quidditch pitch to practice, because he wanted to try out for the Keeper position on the Quidditch team. He didn’t tell anyone because he wasn’t so sure about his skills and was quite embarrassed about it, for some reason. Plus, Harry didn’t really talk to him or Hermione. After his detention, he just shut himself off. Ron was glad for Hermione as she made him feel like everything was okay. They hung out together most of the time, and when Harry joined them, he was just there, silent, almost a ghost of himself. Ron would wake up in the middle of the night to check on Harry, but the other boy was not in his bed. This was a normal occurrence each night. By morning, Harry was back in his bed. Ron never asked him about it and, although he was worried, he didn’t try to look for Harry.

It was Thursday of the first week of school that Ron ran into Harry on his way back from the Quidditch pitch. Ron was hiding from Fred and George because he saw them running in the nearest hallway and he was afraid they would tease him about his wish to try out for the Keeper position. Harry was leaving his detention with Umbridge and found Ron hiding behind a statue, clutching his broom. Ron had to come clean. Harry seemed genuinely excited for Ron trying out to be on the Quidditch team and a huge weight has lifted off Ron’s shoulders. If Harry thought it was a good idea, that meant he wasn’t completely useless, right? As they walked together towards the Gryffindor Tower, they shared an easy conversation and it felt like old times to Ron. But then Ron noticed something on Harry’s hand. Before he could even think about it, he grabbed Harry’s hand to examine it, and there it was, the words carved into Harry’s skin: _I must not tell lies._

“I thought you said she was just giving you lines!” exclaimed Ron, completely outraged, and a little bit heartbroken that his friend kept this information from him.

Harry sighed and explained what was really happening in his detention. Ron started cursing Professor Umbridge and tried to convince Harry to see Professor McGonagall or Dumbledore but Harry refused.

“Just let it go, Ron. It’s the last one tomorrow, anyway,” he said and there it was again, Harry was closing himself off.

Ron frowned, still holding Harry’s hand and staring at the words. Before he could think about it, he brought Harry’s hand to his face and planted a soft kiss over the scarred skin. When he looked into Harry’s eyes, the other boy was looking at him with a somewhat astounded expression on his face.

“Why-why did you do that?” Harry stammered out.

“My mum used to kiss any cuts and bruises I had as a child,” shrugged Ron naturally. “For the pain to go away.”

Harry didn’t say anything else and after a while slowly retracted his hand from Ron’s gentle grip. They walked to the Gryffindor common room quietly and Ron felt heavy with another secret about Harry that he could not share with Hermione.

*

Ron made it on the Gryffindor Quidditch team, even though he wasn’t the most confident about his performance. Harry seemed to be genuinely happy for Ron, he gave him a soft smile after he returned from his detention on Friday evening. Ron was nervous but excited. Also, he was glad because now he could watch over Harry during the Quidditch practice as well.

On Sunday evening that week, Sirius’s head appeared in the fireplace of the common room, while Harry, Ron and Hermione were doing their homework in silence. Sirius spoke to them about the Ministry thinking that Dumbledore was forming a secret army, and then he talked to Harry about his scar hurting. The conversation finished with Sirius trying to ask about their next Hogsmeade trip and saying he could come to visit, only to be told off by Harry and Hermione about it being too risky.

“You’re less like your father than I thought,” Sirius said then. “The risk would’ve been what made it fun for James.”

“Look –,“ tried Harry.

“Well, I’d better get going, I’ll write to tell you a time I can make it back into the fire, then, shall I? If you can stand to risk it?”

With that Sirius disappeared from the fire and Harry, looking guilty and sad walked up to their dormitory.

“That’s really unfair, isn’t it?” said Ron to Hermione, feeling outraged by Sirius’s words.

“Yes, well,” replied Hermione, “it’s not the first time Sirius thought of Harry as his dad, isn’t it? His mind is still stuck in his twenties, you know.”

“Yes, but he cannot take it out on Harry like this. He has enough problems as it is!” exclaimed Ron.

“I know,” said Hermione in a small voice. “I worry about him too, you know. He’s so closed off this year and I don’t know how we can be there for him, how we can support him.”

“I don’t know either, Hermione,” sighed Ron. “It’s driving me mad.”

“Is he … does he talk to you … at all?” asked Hermione with a concerned voice.

“Not really,” replied Ron sadly. “He disappears in the middle of the night as well. I don’t know where he goes.”

“Do you think he’s meeting with someone?” wondered Hermione.

“No,” Ron shook his head. “If he doesn’t talk to us, why would he talk to someone else?”

“Well, he seemed to bond with Luna,” said Hermione.

“But surely they wouldn’t meet in the middle of the night,” reasoned Ron.

Ron was determined to find out where Harry was disappearing in the middle of the night. He was contemplating it for the several next days because he didn’t want to betray Harry’s trust by invading his privacy and following him when the other boy clearly wanted to be left alone. Harry landed himself more detention with Umbridge, which didn’t improve his mood, for obvious reasons. So, after several days Ron decided to find out what Harry was doing during the nights. When he woke up to find Harry’s bed empty again, he searched for the Marauder’s Map and then looked for the dot with Harry’s name on it. After a few minutes, he found him on the Quidditch pitch alone, so Ron put on a jumper and a pair of shoes and walked there.

It was around four in the morning; the outside was illuminated by soft blue light and there was a slight fog enveloping everything. Even though it was still September, there was already a rather cool air that quite sharply caressed Ron’s skin as he walked. Ron thought he probably should’ve taken a scarf but he was already halfway down the Quidditch pitch. As he reached it, he hesitated for a minute, contemplating whether he really dared to invade on whatever Harry was doing there. Then he thought about the summer, and the moments when the Nimbus Harry would give him a soft chuckle, or when he woke up in the morning to Harry breathing calmly on his neck while he still slept. If Harry was going to be upset that Ron followed him, it was worth it for the Nimbus Harry to come back, Ron thought.

He walked between the Quidditch stands and looked around. Harry was running. He seemed he was running laps around the Quidditch pitch. He was wearing his striped pyjama bottoms and a grey hoodie that was too large on him. He was sweating, which only indicated he’s been running for quite some time. As he was reaching Ron, he finally noticed him and stopped. He was just staring at him with an unreadable expression.

“I-I was worried about you,” said Ron uneasily.

“I just went to clear my head,” explained Harry.

“Do you do this every night?” asked Ron and Harry looked at him, surprised that Ron noticed he disappeared every night.

“It helps me,” replied Harry. “I wake up from a nightmare and I can’t fall asleep again. So, I tire myself out,” he explained uneasily.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” asked Ron, his voice cracking a little bit.

“I …,” Harry sighed. “You can’t help me, Ron. It’s better you don’t know. I’m … I’m scared of myself. I don’t want you to be scared of me too.”

“I could never be scared of you,” said Ron.

“You don’t … You don’t know that!” exclaimed Harry in a frustrated voice. “You don’t know what’s going on in my head … if you knew ….”

“Harry, you talk to house-elves as if they were humans,” smiled Ron. “I don’t think scary people do that.”

“Just … leave me, Ron,” said Harry, looking at the ground.

“No,” said Ron firmly and took a step towards Harry. “Let’s go back, it’s cold,” he added and Harry gave him a look that showed he expected Ron to say something else. But instead, Ron took Harry’s hand and they walked back to the castle in silence.

*

Now that Ron knew what Harry was doing, it didn’t mean he knew what to do about it. He told Hermione, even though he felt guilty for sharing something that was not his to share. He also told her eventually about the true nature of Umbridge’s detention and Hermione was enraged.

“How can this be happening under Dumbledore’s nose?” she exclaimed, frustrated.

She and Ron were sitting in the common room, it was evening and Harry was, yet again, serving the said detention. Ron didn’t know what to do anymore. All the time he kept thinking, worrying about Harry and every time he looked at his friend, he was seeing a shadow of someone he once knew.

“Hermione, what are we going to do?” he asked, desperately. “I can’t keep watching him self-destruct like this. I don’t know how he hasn’t collapsed yet. He barely eats, he keeps running laps in the night, he doesn’t talk to anyone, he lets her carve words into his skin,” he rambled on and realized he was crying.

“I don’t know,” sighed Hermione and sat closer to him, taking his hand.

“What if … what if it doesn’t get better?” Ron asked worriedly.

“It will!” Hermione assured him but Ron knew that she wasn’t so assured herself.

Ron dried his tears off with his sleeve and they chatted for a while. When Harry entered the common room, they were still sitting on the sofa, talking softly, Hermione still holding Ron’s hand reassuringly. Harry looked at them questioningly and Ron quickly let go of Hermione’s hand. For some reason, he didn’t want Harry to misinterpret the situation. Hermione resolutely walked to Harry and sat him down next to Ron before he could protest. Then, she started healing Harry’s hand with her wand. Harry gave Ron a slightly betrayed look and Ron had to repeat to himself in his head that he did a good thing by telling Hermione, even if Harry couldn’t see it.

“She’s an awful woman,” Hermione broke the silence as she finished healing Harry’s hand, “we’ve got to do something about her. Something about what a dreadful teacher she is, and how we’re not going to learn any Defence from her at all,” she said.

“Well, what can we do about that?” asked Ron aware of Harry tensing up next to him a little bit. “S too late, isn’t it? She’s got the job, she’s here to stay. Fudge’ll make sure of that.”

“Well,” continued Hermione tentatively. “You know, I was thinking today ... I was thinking that – maybe the time’s come when we should just – just do it ourselves.”

Ron and Harry both stared at her as Hermione tried to explain.

“We need a teacher, a proper one, who can show us how to use the spells and correct us if we’re going wrong.”

“If you’re talking about Lupin ...” Harry began.

“No, no, I’m not talking about Lupin,” said Hermione. “He’s too busy with the Order and, anyway, the most we could see him is during Hogsmeade weekends and that’s not nearly often enough.”

“Who, then?” asked Harry, frowning.

“Isn’t it obvious?” she said. “I’m talking about you, Harry.”

It was silent for a while, Harry looked bewildered about Hermione’s suggestion. Ron was thinking it over. It was a brilliant idea, actually. Whenever they studied with Harry for the tasks during the Triwizard Tournament, he learnt quite a lot. It was easy with Harry.

“I was just lucky most of the times,” Harry said darkly. “And if I didn’t have help from you or Dumbledore, I wouldn’t be able to do anything.”

Ron and Hermione only looked at each other and smiled. Harry was always modest about his abilities. While the whole wizarding world believed he was special, Harry was convinced there was nothing special about him. But Ron knew he was special. Not because he was the Boy Who Lived, but because he was Harry, his best friend. Harry, who made friends with a house-elf, who always bought extra sweets for Ron, who sneaked with Ron into the kitchens during the night because Ron was hungry. Harry, for whom Ron was so important that he was chosen to be saved by him in the lake.

“Don’t sit there grinning as you know better than I do, I was there, wasn’t I?” Harry said heatedly but Ron and Hermione were laughing now. “STOP LAUGHING!” he was suddenly on his feet and then they fell quiet. “You don’t know what it’s like! You – neither of you – you’ve never had to face him, have you? You think it’s just memorising a bunch of spells and throwing them at him like you’re in class or something? The whole time you know there’s nothing between you and dying except your own – your own brain or guts or whatever – like you can think straight when you know you’re about a nanosecond from being murdered, or watching your friends die,” he exclaimed and there were tears running down his cheeks. Ron wanted to hug him but he didn’t dare to move.

“Harry,” Hermione said timidly. “This ... this is exactly why we need you ... we need to know what it’s r-really like ... facing him ... facing V-Voldemort.”

“I’m ... I’m sorry,” Harry said. “I just don’t think I’ll be able to do it.”

“Think about it, okay?” Hermione pleaded and Harry reluctantly nodded.

*

Harry would still disappear from his bed during the nights. It was almost a habit already for Ron to wake up at some point as well, only to find out Harry wasn’t there. Every night Ron walked down to the Quidditch pitch to find Harry running. Ron would sit down on a bench and wait for Harry to run towards him. Then, he would take Harry’s hand and they would walk back to the castle together. They never spoke about it. It just became some kind of silent arrangement between them, a replacement for when Harry climbed into Ron’s bed.

September went by and Harry still didn’t say anything about Hermione’s idea of him teaching them DADA. They didn’t ask him either, giving him space to think about it. With each day, Ron was getting more and more worried, because Harry looked weaker and weaker. He was not eating enough and was exercising excessively. Now that he didn’t have any more detention, he was joining the Quidditch practice regularly and Angelina was a tough and strict Captain. And although Ron knew how much Harry loved playing Quidditch, it was another exercise on top of his nighttime runs.

Eventually, Hermione asked Harry if he gave the idea of teaching them any more thought and he only said it would be okay if he taught only Ron and Hermione. But Hermione brought the idea of more people getting involved on the table.

“I doubt anyone except you two would want to be taught by me. I’m a nutter, remember?” he said.

“Well, I think you might be surprised how many people would be interested in hearing what you’ve got to say,” said Hermione. “Look, you know the first weekend in October’s a Hogsmeade weekend? How would it be if we tell anyone who’s interested to meet us in the village and we can talk it over?” she suggested.

Harry reluctantly agreed and, in the end, they arranged a meeting with everyone in the Hog’s Head. Ron was astonished by the number of people Hermione gathered. She sure was busy and obviously excited by the idea. Ron himself was getting excited, but still somewhat nervous. The meeting wasn’t exactly easy, as some people had nosy questions about Cedric’s death and what exactly happened at the graveyard, and Harry was seemingly uncomfortable with that. The most annoying person was Zacharias Smith, his questions were sharp as if directly slashing through Harry, so Ron told him to shut up and the twins told Zacharias off as well. It was then decided that they would meet once a week once they found a suitable space for practicing.

Harry seemed to be quite satisfied by the meeting, which warmed both Ron and Hermione as they were slightly nervous about how it might go. As the three of them walked together through Hogsmeade afterwards, Harry was exceptionally easy to talk to, smiling at them every so often. He bought Ron some Pepper Imps when they went to Honeydukes and before Ron could protest about his friend spending money on him, he just shoved it into the pocket of Ron’s jacket. Hermione gave them a curious look and then dragged them to the Three Broomsticks for butterbeer.

*

The excitement they felt about the meeting in Hog’s Head faded away quite quickly because on Monday Umbridge dismissed all students’ clubs and organizations. Somehow, Umbridge must have found out, but Hermione assured them no one from the group could have told her because she put a jinx on the signature paper. Of course, she would do that, Ron thought to himself amusedly. Hermione was brilliant but slightly terrifying. This new ban also meant that the Gryffindor Quidditch team had to reform and ask for permission, which Umbridge wasn’t keen on giving them, and Harry seemingly blamed himself again.

Hedwig got injured one day and it was obvious someone was trying to read Harry’s mail. This only meant that any communication Harry had with Sirius had to end, as it would be quite risky. Sirius sent Harry a note telling him to meet him that evening in the Gryffindor common room and Ron could see Harry was quite nervous. However, Sirius was in a good mood that evening, expressing how proud he was for them forming a secret study group. They were overheard by Mundungus in the Hog’s Head and Sirius passed on the message from Mrs Weasley, forbidding Ron and the rest of her children to participate in the group. Ron only rolled his eyes. As if he would not stick by Harry’s side in whatever they decided to do. The talk with Sirius was cut off abruptly, however, as a hand appeared in the fireplace, trying to grasp something, but Sirius disappeared before it could. So, really, no more communicating for Harry with his godfather.

The Gryffindor Quidditch team got permission to play eventually, which seemed to cheer Harry up a little and Ron was glad. They had a practice that evening but it was cut short due to a terrible rain. Harry and Ron were the last ones in the changing rooms, Harry always waited for everyone to leave, for some reason, before he started changing himself. But Ron would wait for him no matter what. As Harry was changing, his scar started to hurt and his legs gave in and he collapsed onto the ground. Ron quickly rushed to his side, helping him to sit up on the bench.

“Are you alright?” asked Ron, his hand on Harry’s back. He didn’t realise when exactly he started drawing circles onto the other boy’s back but it seemed almost natural to do.

“It’s Voldemort,” Harry breathed out heavily.

“He – he can’t be near us now, can he?” Ron asked, almost sounding scared.

“No,” Harry muttered. “He’s probably miles away. It hurt because ... he’s ... angry.”

“Did you see him? Did you ... get a vision or something?”

“He wants something done, and it’s not happening fast enough,” Harry said slowly, trying to focus.

Ron was quite astonished at Harry’s ability to read Voldemort’s emotions. He was, of course, worried about how much it affected Harry’s own mood. But it was astonishing, nevertheless. Harry eventually got up, he stumbled a little bit and Ron caught him, then he changed and they started walking towards the castle. They walked slowly; Harry seemed to be incredibly exhausted. Of course, he was, he didn’t eat enough and kept on exercising. At some point on their way, Harry stumbled again, almost falling over, but Ron caught him once more. Then, Ron put his arm around Harry’s waist, supporting him, as they walked on.

“You need to eat more, mate,” said Ron.

“I’m fine,” mumbled Harry and Ron gripped him more strongly.

As they walked back to the dormitory, Harry fell asleep immediately when his head met the pillow. Ron looked at him for a while, his heart beating painfully at the sight. He looked so small, so vulnerable and fragile. He wished there was something he could do. He just wanted Harry to be happy but right now, Ron didn’t see any outlets of the misery the other boy was in. It’s not easy to help someone who doesn’t want to be helped. Sometimes, Ron wondered if he wanted to help Harry only for his own selfish reasons. Only because the Nimbus Harry made Ron happy. So, maybe Ron just wanted to make himself happy. That thought seemed selfish to Ron and somehow wrong. He wished he could tell someone all these worries he had, all these thoughts that were running through his head but he didn’t dare. He thought of telling Hermione but she already worried about Harry, no need to make her worry about Ron as well.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much of the kudos and comments, means a lot, hope you enjoy this :)

Eventually, they found a room for their secret meetings thanks to Dobby. This again proved how incredible it was for Harry to have this special friendship with a house elf. So, that evening they met with everyone in the Room of Requirement. It was a successful first meeting and after overcoming the initial nervousness, Harry seemed to be enjoying the teaching. And what was more, he was bloody good at it too. True, Ron thought Harry was good at almost anything, but even the others seemed to be satisfied with the first lesson.

“That was bloody brilliant, Harry,” grinned Ron as they walked to the common room.

“It was,” said Hermione with a satisfied smile.

“I have to admit, it wasn’t a complete disaster as I thought it would be,” smiled Harry.

They kept meeting up with the Dumbledore’s Army, which was what they called themselves, quite regularly over the next two weeks. Harry’s mood seemed to improve a little bit, but he still kept disappearing in the nights, and Ron kept following him. They put the DA meetings on hold as the first Quidditch match was nearing and Angelina was ruthless with their practices. Ron was getting more and more nervous about the match. He was not confident in his Quidditch skills at all, plus the Slytherins kept coming to their practices to shout mean things at him. He tried not to listen but it was getting to him.

On the day of the match, Ron was a nervous wreck. Harry and Hermione tried to cheer him up but it was no use. Just before they walked onto the Quidditch pitch, Hermione kissed his cheek for good luck, which earned them a curious glance from Harry. Ron blushed, he knew it was just for good luck, but he didn’t want Harry to get the wrong idea. He wasn’t sure why, though. As Hermione walked off to the Quidditch stands, Harry squeezed Ron’s hand reassuringly.

“You’ll be alright,” he said with that soft smile on his face, and some of the worries that Ron had, have somehow lifted themselves off his shoulders. Before Harry could let go of Ron’s hand, Ron brought it to his face. He looked at the scars that were on Harry’s skin, they were faded by now, but it was obvious they were going to remind Harry of this terrible time forever. Harry stared at him, taken aback, and Ron softly kissed over his hand.

“It doesn’t hurt anymore,” said Harry almost inaudibly.

“I know,” shrugged Ron. “Maybe it was more for good luck,” he said and Harry gave him a curious look.

The match was a disaster, however. It was against Slytherin and they made up a song called _Weasley is our king_ and it was not a flattering song at all, as the name might have made it seem. Any confidence that Ron had left quickly vanished into the thin air. They won in the end, thanks to Harry catching the Snitch, but Ron felt terrible. As the match ended, Malfoy kept shouting nasty things about Ron’s family and Harry with the twins couldn’t take it anymore. They attacked Malfoy, which only resulted in Umbridge banning Harry and the twins from Quidditch. The only good thing about that day was that Hagrid returned, and Ron, Harry and Hermione rushed to visit him in the evening. They found out about Hagrid’s secret mission with the giants and warned him about Umbridge.

Harry’s mood rapidly decreased, which was understandable. Ron was struggling to feel positive as well. He didn’t want to be on the Quidditch team anymore but he couldn’t quit since the team already lost Harry and the twins. In the first lesson they had with Hagrid, he taught them about thestrals, which were the creatures Harry saw pulling the carriages at the beginning of the year. But they were only visible to people who saw death. That made Ron ache for Harry. Hagrid’s lesson was inspected by Umbridge, which didn’t mean anything good.

Soon, it was December and the weather was getting quite cold. They kept having more homework and the stress of their upcoming O.W.L.s was rapidly increasing. The only good thing seemed to be the DA meetings. At least, that was the only time Harry seemed to be more himself. But the Nimbus Harry almost seemed like a figment of Ron’s imagination, something he dreamed of. What seemed to also cheer Harry up a little bit was the fact that Ron told him that he was officially invited to spend Christmas with the Weasley family.

It was a particularly cold night when Ron woke up again to find Harry’s bed empty. He put on a warm jumper, a jacket, and a scarf before he walked out of the castle. He found Harry again on the Quidditch pitch, running laps. He wasn’t wearing a jacket, just his grey hoodie again. As he ran towards Ron, he seemed very weak. Suddenly, Ron watched as the other boy collapsed to the ground. Ron rushed towards him, his heart beating so hard and so fast, he felt it in his throat. Harry was passed out on the ground, Ron took off his jacket and put it on the other boy before taking him in his arms and carrying him to the castle. He brought him to Madame Pomfrey, who was not thrilled about being woken up. Harry wasn’t passed out for long; he woke up just as Ron was quietly explaining to Madame Pomfrey what had happened. Madame Pomfrey examined Harry, which the boy wasn’t thrilled about, and she immediately knew what was happening. She made Harry drink a nutritious potion. She instructed Ron to make sure Harry was eating enough and kept drinking the potions with his every meal. Harry was not happy about it at all, in fact, he was quite angry, but Madame Pomfrey scolded him and threatened that if Harry wasn’t going to get better, she would inform the Headmaster and Harry was going to spend the rest of the school year in the hospital wing.

Ron walked Harry back to the Gryffindor Tower and Harry refused to go back to the dormitory as he sat on the sofa in the common room. It was still very early in the morning, no one was awake, and only a few red coal pieces were left in the fireplace. Ron plopped himself down next to Harry.

“Go to sleep, Ron,” said Harry angrily.

“No,” replied Ron firmly. “I’m not going to leave you.”

“I’m fine. You already brought me here, you can go to bed.”

“You’re not fine! Can you stop saying that? I think after tonight it is more than obvious that you’re not fine!” exclaimed Ron frustratedly.

“Let it go, Ron, please,” sighed Harry.

“No,” insisted Ron and sat closer towards Harry. “I’m not going to let it go. Don’t you get it now? I will always be there to make sure you’re okay. I know I’m not doing a very good job at the moment, but I’m trying.”

“But that’s not your job, Ron. I am not yours to protect, alright?” exclaimed Harry and after a while he added, very quietly: “I’m not anyone’s to protect.”

“Harry … I don’t …,” Ron couldn’t find the words to say something. He didn’t know how to express what he felt towards his best friend, because he barely understood it himself. He felt the tears prickling into his eyes, he sniffled and wiped his face on his sleeve. Then, he moved closer and enveloped Harry slowly in his arms. Harry was stiff for a moment and then he relaxed, put his arms around Ron as well, clinging to him. He was softly crying and Ron started drawing soothing circles on his back.

“I can’t do it anymore, Ron,” whispered Harry into his chest. “I don’t want to do it.”

Ron gripped the other boy more tightly to himself as if he was going to vanish from his touch any moment. His heart was aching as the words left Harry’s mouth. It was not fair. Harry deserved to be happy, he deserved the world, if Ron had anything to say about it.

“We’ll get through it together,” said Ron in a voice that didn’t sound convincing even to his ears.

Harry slowly moved away from Ron’s grip and it was as if part of him was suddenly missing. His eyes were still glistening with tears, Ron absentmindedly moved and wiped them away from Harry’s cheeks with his sleeve. There was a hint of a smile on Harry’s face and Ron was almost hopeful that they truly could get through it together. They sat closely and soon they both fell asleep. Ron was woken up sometime later, his head nestled on Harry’s shoulder, in a very unnatural angle as the other boy was much smaller than him.

“It’s almost time for breakfast,” whispered Harry. “We should get up before people start coming here.”

“Yeah,” nodded Ron, “let’s get dressed.”

They didn’t talk as they walked to breakfast together, Hermione joining them there, looking curiously between them. Harry was drinking his tea and Ron pushed a plate with a piece of toast in front of him. Harry looked at him with questioning eyes and Ron tried to give him an encouraging smile. Harry sighed, reluctantly taking the toast and slowly chewing it. Hermione looked at Ron, searching for an explanation and Ron just mouthed “later” as he started eating his own breakfast. When Harry finished the piece of toast, which took him quite some time, Ron handed him the small vial of the nutritious potion and watched him drink it. They repeated this routine for the next meals too. In the evening, Harry had yet another detention with Umbridge and Ron explained to Hermione what had occurred the night before.

“It was bound to happen at some point,” she said, her voice troubled. “I only hope we can make sure he is getting better.”

“We can,” Ron insisted confidently. “Today was good.”

“That’s just one day, Ron,” frowned Hermione. “This is not an easy situation. It will take time and Harry will not always cooperate; you know that.”

“I know,” sighed Ron. “I just want to believe,” he said and Hermione gave him an understanding smile.

“Ron?” she asked, somewhat nervously. “Is … do you … do you have feelings for Harry?”

“What?” asked Ron, surprised, but couldn’t control the blush that was coming to his cheeks. “Why would you think that?”

“It’s just … I’ve been watching you … and it would make a lot of sense, actually,” she explained.

“Hermione, not everything has to make sense,” replied Ron.

“You’re not answering the question.”

“Harry is my best friend,” shrugged Ron. “I want him to be safe … and I want him to be happy.”

“Ron, you know you can tell me anything, right?” said Hermione and took his hand.

“It’s … I don’t really think about it that way,” admitted Ron. “I just do whatever feels natural. I’m not sure what it is exactly that I’m feeling towards him but however you want to name it is not going to change anything,” he sighed. “The priority is for Harry to get better, for him to be happy.”

“You’re right,” she smiled. “There’s no need putting it into a box. But please, don’t forget yourself in these … affections, let’s call it … you have to take care of yourself too.”

*

Harry still disappeared in the nights to go running, and Ron always followed him and brought him back to the castle. However, Harry’s eating was slowly improving. Ron knew that if he didn’t make sure, the boy wouldn’t eat, though. So, he stuck by his side, making sure he ate and drank his potions. He even walked with him to Madame Pomfrey for a check-up and another dose of potions.

The last DA session before Christmas was quite pleasant, although a bit sad, as everyone seemed to be reluctant to say goodbye. As everyone left the Room of Requirement, Ron and Hermione were waiting for Harry to finish talking to Cho. They were standing in front of the door in the corridor and Ron was curious what kind of questions Cho needed answering so urgently that it was taking such a long time. He and Hermione decided to peek through the door, to make sure Harry was alright, only to see him sharing a soft kiss with Cho. They quickly closed the door, so the pair wouldn’t see them looking. Ron felt a pang in his chest at the sight. He was supposed to be glad for Harry. Getting kissed by a nice girl was a good thing, it was something that would certainly lift Harry’s mood. But for some reason, he was feeling sad about it and somehow deceived. Maybe Hermione was onto something the other day.

“Are you okay?” Hermione asked, taking Ron’s hand in hers reassuringly.

“Of course,” nodded Ron and they both knew he was lying.

Harry and Cho appeared soon after that. Harry’s eyes flicked to the joined hands of Ron and Hermione and he lifted an eyebrow. Ron quickly let go of Hermione’s hand, and after saying goodbye to Cho, they walked back to the Gryffindor tower.

Ron woke up abruptly later that night to Harry screaming. He quickly rose from his bed and jumped towards Harry. The rest of the boys woke up as well, looking confused and terrified. Harry was screaming in his sleep and shivering. Ron had to shake him quite forcefully to wake him up. When Harry’s eyes finally shot open, the boy looked terrified and nauseated. He bent down and threw up on the side of the bed.

“Your dad!” he choked out. “Your dad’s been attacked!”

Ron tried to calm Harry down, and at the same time keep it together, as the other boy frantically blabbered about his dream. Dean and Seamus looked confused and scared, while Neville went to get Professor McGonagall. When she arrived, Harry repeated what happened, his voice sounding urgent and desperate.

“I’m not lying and I’m not mad!” Harry exclaimed as Professor McGonagall gave him a puzzled look. “I tell you, I saw it happen!”

“I believe you, Potter,” said Professor McGonagall curtly. “Put on your dressing gown – we’re going to see the Headmaster.”

They followed Professor McGonagall to the Headmaster’s office, where Harry had to, once again, retell his dream. He looked so incredibly weak and small. Ron was feeling so many things at once. He was, of course, completely terrified of what Harry told them, worried that his dad was somewhere badly hurt and no one seemed to be doing anything about it yet. He was also completely frightened for Harry, for the images Harry might have seen and how he must have been feeling now. Dumbledore kept questioning Harry about the dream, and even to Ron, it was frustrating. Why did he ask so many questions? Why didn’t he just start acting? Harry was shaking and Ron wasn’t sure if it was from anger, fear or something else. Then Dumbledore talked to someone in a painting that was in his office. The person in the painting disappeared and soon returned to inform them that Mr Weasley was found seriously injured. Ron’s heart was beating faster and faster. Harry looked at him with terrified eyes. Dumbledore then told Professor McGonagall to wake the other Weasley children and send Fawkes to inform Mrs Weasley. Then he instructed another painting to tell Sirius in Grimmauld Place that Harry and the Weasleys are going to come there soon.

The twins and Ginny appeared not long after that, looking terrified and confused. They were all quickly transported to Grimmauld Place by a Portkey. Sirius was waiting for them, he looked like he tried to make himself look presentable at the very last minute. Harry had to retell the dream once again, which seemingly was causing him huge pain. They got a note from Mrs Weasley telling them that she was at St. Mungo’s and that Mr Weasley wasn’t dead. It didn’t give Ron any reassurance, and as he looked around the others also seemed quite agitated. They all sat down and Sirius brought everyone a butterbeer. Everyone was quiet and they all waited for something to happen, for some more information, for hope. Harry kept exchanging looks with Sirius, he sat alone in an armchair in the corner of the room, as if he didn’t want to belong to the rest of them. Ron felt he was too far away from him, but the distance wasn’t only literal. He wished Harry sat next to him, it would give Ron some kind of comfort that he so desperately needed right now.

They sat there the whole night, none of them cared about going to sleep. Around five in the morning, Mrs Weasley finally came, telling them that Mr Weasley was going to be alright and that they were going to visit him in the afternoon. A huge weight has lifted off Ron’s shoulder and it was obvious everyone was finally able to relax a little bit. Sirius made them all breakfast and it was decided the whole Weasley family would stay for Christmas. Harry seemed he wanted to remove himself from everyone, but before he could disappear in the house, Mrs Weasley hugged him tightly, thanking him for saving Mr Weasley.

Ron still made sure that Harry ate his breakfast, which wasn’t an easy task. After breakfast, they all went to catch a few hours of sleep. Harry didn’t seem that he wanted to sleep, Ron was sure that given the opportunity he would just close himself somewhere in the house, overthinking everything. But Ron needed him. Ron needed Harry to stay close to him. He wasn’t sure why. So, when everyone disappeared to their rooms, Ron grabbed Harry’s hand before the boy could protest, and led him to the room they shared the last week of August. Harry sat down on his bed, looking unsure of what to do, and scanned the room. There were two beds but Ron didn’t want to be that far away from Harry.

“Harry?” he said in a small voice and Harry looked up at him, his big green eyes searching something in Ron. “Is … would it … be okay … for me to share with you?” he asked nervously.

“Of course,” nodded Harry. There was no smile or any hint of his emotions, it was as if he was an empty shell.

Ron smiled and carefully lied down on the bed next to Harry. Suddenly, Ron found himself feeling afraid of making the slightest move, in case it would disturb something between them. But then Harry’s hand made its way to Ron’s, intertwining their fingers. It was a shy gesture, the touch of the hand was light as if making space for Ron to retract his own. Instead, Ron squeezed Harry’s hand tighter and it was all he needed to fall asleep.

Ron woke up after a few hours. At some point in his sleep, he enveloped Harry’s body, pushing the other boy into his chest. After inspecting Harry’s face, however, he was relieved to find the boy looking peaceful and still asleep. It gave Ron some comfort and he didn’t let go of Harry. Eventually, Harry woke up as well, confusedly scanning Ron but not moving away from him. Ron moved his hand to flatten Harry’s hair a little bit, unsuccessfully, before he smiled at him and slowly got up.

After lunch, they all headed to St. Mungo’s to visit Mr Weasley. He looked quite cheerful but was still seriously injured. But Ron felt reassured after seeing his dad up and about but the adults didn’t want to tell them the nature of Mr Weasley’s night mission. As they were waiting outside of the room, however, the twins took out the Extendable Ears, so they could listen to the conversation between Mad-Eye and Mr and Mrs Weasley.

“There’s something funny about the Potter kid, we all know that,” said Moody.

“Dumbledore seemed worried about Harry when I spoke to him this morning,” whispered Mrs Weasley.

“Course he’s worried,” growled Moody. “The boy’s seeing things from inside You-Know-Who’s snake. Obviously, Potter doesn’t realise what that means, but if You-Know-Who’s possessing him –“

They all looked at Harry, who was green in his face. Ron wanted to hug him tightly and tell him that it doesn’t mean anything, that Harry, after all, saved his dad from dying. But as Ron tried to move closer to the boy, Harry only took a step backwards, as if he was scared only a light touch might hurt Ron. When they returned to Grimmauld Place, Harry disappeared, obviously wanting to be alone. He didn’t come to dinner and when Ron asked Sirius about the boy, he only shrugged. Which meant that he probably knew where Harry was but was instructed not to tell anyone and leave him alone. He didn’t even come to the room he shared with Ron, which caused Ron an uneasy sleep that night.

Hermione arrived the next day, surprisingly. She took Ron aside and he told her about everything that happened. He was glad for Hermione. With all the confusing feelings that absorbed him, Hermione was a constant that always knew what to say and what to do. Harry finally returned to the room he shared with Ron and they all went to talk to him. It didn’t go exactly well; Harry was angry and only snapped at them.

“All been talking about me, have you? Well, I’m getting used to it,” Harry growled at them.

“We wanted to talk to you, Harry,” said Ginny, “but as you’ve been hiding ever since we got back –“

“I didn’t want anyone to talk to me,” said Harry, looking at the floor.

“Well, that was a bit stupid of you,” said Ginny angrily, “seeing as you don’t know anyone but me who’s been possessed by You-Know-Who, and I can tell you how it feels.”

Harry looked at her, surprised. Then he seemed to be thinking for a while.

“I’m sorry,” he said eventually.

Ginny told him that she was sure he was not possessed and Harry seemed to relax a little bit. Ron was grateful when everyone left the room and he and Harry were alone. Harry was quiet, obviously not knowing what to say. Ron sighed, then sat down on the bed next to Harry, taking his hand gently but Harry flinched away. Ron gave him a confused look.

“Ron … I … even if I’m not possessed … it still felt like me,” explained Harry, his voice shaking. “I was attacking your dad … and … at that moment … I enjoyed it.”

“But that wasn’t you,” said Ron firmly.

“But what if the feeling was me?” countered Harry and Ron could see the tears that started gathering in his eyes. “What if that feeling was the real me?”

“Harry,” sighed Ron. “How could it be you? You always make sure I have all my homework and books with me for classes. Would someone who does that enjoy hurting my dad?” he smiled. “I’ve heard you screaming from the dream. You were in so much pain, how could it be you?” he added seriously.

“But … but … I’m so angry all the time,” cried Harry. “I have these thoughts … what if I’m becoming evil?”

“You are not your thoughts. So, you’re angry. I would probably be too if I were you,” chuckled Ron. “But you … you don’t do anything evil. And the fact that you’re literally crying just at the thought of being evil says that you bloody can’t be.”

“I’m sorry,” sniffled Harry. “Your dad is literally in the hospital right now and you’re the one comforting me. That’s so messed up.”

“I like comforting you,” admitted Ron. “Besides, my dad is going to be okay. And it’s mainly thanks to you.”

“I wouldn’t think that.”

“Well, as horrible as it must have been, if you didn’t see it, my dad would be dead,” said Ron gravely.

Harry stayed silent and Ron had the urge to hug him as closest as he could to himself. He didn’t, though. Instead, he, carefully and slowly, took Harry’s hand again, the one with the scarred words on it. Harry gave him an expectant look like he knew what was coming and he craved it as much as Ron did. So, Ron brought the hand to his mouth and pressed a gentle kiss over the scar.

“Why do you keep doing that?” asked Harry in a soft whisper.

“It feels like the right thing to do,” replied Ron easily. “Do you not like it?”

“I do,” admitted Harry nervously.

*

Despite the circumstances, Christmas at Grimmauld Place was a pleasant affair. Harry seemed more relaxed and the small soft smiles kept appearing occasionally again. It gave Ron hope for the Nimbus Harry to exist once more. Ron still made sure Harry ate properly and drank his nutritious potions, and Harry was improving. There were only two nights when Ron woke up to find Harry doing jumping jacks, as there was no opportunity for him to run, but most nights Harry just crawled into Ron’s bed. They kept visiting Mr Weasley at St. Mungo’s every day and he was recovering well. The whole winter break seemed like a bit of light in the darkness for everyone. Lupin spent most days with them there too and Sirius seemed to be coping much better with everything. During one of the last days, they spent there, however, he took Ron aside. Ron was nervous, he didn’t really know how to talk to Harry’s godfather. And what was more, the subject of their talk was rather touchy for Ron.

“I know your secret, Ron,” winked Sirius and Ron looked at him confusedly. “You fancy my godson, am I right?”

“N-no,” Ron stammered out, not knowing why he was blushing.

“Oh, please, I see the looks you give him as if he was your whole universe,” chuckled Sirius but Ron still didn’t know what to say. Sirius inspected him closely. “Ah, you don’t just fancy him,” he said in realization. “You love him.”

“Of course, he is my best friend!” said Ron as if it was the most obvious thing.

“Hm,” smiled Sirius. “Alright, I’m not going to force something onto you way too quickly. I just wanted to say that I think my godson is pretty damn lucky to have you.”

“Er … thanks,” replied Ron with a nervous chuckle.

“Also,” sighed Sirius. “I know Harry is not easy work. I know the looks you give him. I know what it is like to watch someone suffer and self-destruct and how hopeless it makes you feel.”

Ron gave Sirius a curious look. Truthfully, he didn’t know much about Sirius and he wasn’t sure if Harry did. But as he said it, and watching him during Christmas, watching the small interactions he had with Lupin, something clicked.

“You … you mean Professor Lupin?” asked Ron.

“You’re not completely oblivious,” smiled Sirius. “It seems our roles have flipped now, though,” he said somewhat sadly, hinting at his excessive drinking. “Look, I just wanted to give you my blessing, I guess. I’m not sure that’s how people do it. The time with Harry I had so far was short and I fear if something were to happen to me … it would be difficult for him. And I know that the moment I set my foot out of this bloody place, I am most likely dead. So, if anything does happen, Merlin forbid, I’m glad he has you.”

“I …,” Ron tried to find the words, “I care about Harry a lot,” he said finally with a proud tone to it. “I don’t know if it means anything else. But for me, it means I’ll always be there for him.”

“Good,” smiled Sirius, “you’re a good lad, Ron.”

*

Before they left Grimmauld Place, they also had an unpleasant visit from Snape, who informed Harry about his instruction from Dumbledore to teach him Occlumency. Ron was sure that was going to only end in disaster. They’ve returned to Hogwarts safely and soon they were again swamped with homework and classes.

Ron accompanied Harry to Madame Pomfrey for his check-up and was pleased to hear that Harry was improving. He was, nonetheless, worried that now they returned to Hogwarts, things would go downhill again. The first night in school, Ron woke up just when Harry was about to go running again. Ron got up quickly to stop him, taking his wrist before Harry could walk through the door. Harry looked at him questioningly, and expectantly. Ron just moved his hand to intertwine their fingers and led Harry to his bed, where he lied next to him.

“What about the others?” whispered Harry worriedly and Ron shut the drapes around them.

“There,” he said easily. “If they say anything, I’ll hex them.”

Harry’s first Occlumency lesson ruined whatever Ron was trying to achieve. As the lesson finished and Harry still didn’t come back from it, Ron had to check the Marauder’s Map. He found Harry on the Quidditch pitch again, where the boy was running laps. He shouted at Ron to leave him alone but when Ron stayed, Harry just ran away from him, disappearing somewhere in the castle. Ron returned to the common room and after he told Hermione what happened, they stayed there, waiting for Harry’s return together. Harry came back late in the night, both Hermione and Ron were slightly dozing off, and the boy went straight to his bed, shutting the drapes around himself without saying another word. Ron sighed, his heart aching slightly, and went to sleep on his own bed.

Ron woke up to Harry laughing frantically. The other boys in the dormitory looked terrified and Ron didn’t blame them. He rushed towards Harry, and once the boy stopped laughing, he looked at Ron with frightened eyes.

“What happened?” asked Ron worriedly.

“I ... dunno ...” Harry gasped, sitting up on his bed. “He’s really happy ... really happy ...”

Ron looked around the other boys, who still seemed terrified, and told them to just go to sleep, that everything was okay. Which he wasn’t sure it was. Harry stared at his lap miserably, probably feeling like he was going insane. So, Ron just climbed into the bed next to him and closed the drapes around them. It was the first night Harry clutched to Ron before he fell asleep.

The next day it was clear what Voldemort was so happy about. They were reading the Daily Prophet at breakfast and it was horrifying. There has been a breakout from the Azkaban prison. The Ministry blamed the breakout on Sirius, of course. Harry seemed to be feeling nauseated and only forced himself to eat half the toast that Ron had buttered for him. Hermione left them to send a letter after breakfast and Harry walked with Ron out of the Great Hall. They ran into Hagrid who looked a bit down. He told them he was on probation, which only dampened their moods.

At some point during the week, Harry asked Cho out for their next Hogsmeade trip, which was on Valentine’s Day. Well, it was more that she mentioned it and hinted very obviously that she’d like Harry to ask her. So, eventually, he did. Ron was a bit displeased at that but only because, he told himself, Harry didn’t seem too enthusiastic about the whole thing. And if Harry wasn’t happy about it, why should Ron be?

*

January soon turned into February. The only good thing that was happening was the DA meetings, in which Harry truly seemed to be happy and full of energy. But otherwise, not only they had tons of homework and studies for their upcoming O.W.L.s but Umbridge was breathing down their necks almost everywhere. She was now observing both Divination and Care for Magical Creatures. It was infuriating. To top it off, Harry was attending Snape’s classes that always managed to destroy most of the work of improvement for recovery he managed to do in between them. It was a never-ending cycle. But Ron managed to catch Harry each night now, before the boy left the dormitory for his run, and carefully drag him to his bed. Therefore, Harry only went running after his Occlumency lessons and for Ron that was a success. The bed-sharing obviously didn’t go unnoticed by the other boys in their dormitory but only Neville asked Ron discreetly about it. Ron simply shrugged and said it helped Harry with his nightmares, and that if Harry didn’t have many nightmares, the whole room was much quieter after all. So, really, he was helping all of them. What Neville didn’t need to know, however, or any of the boys, was that Ron also found a strong sense of comfort from it.

Ron found out that Angelina wanted to train with the Gryffindor Quidditch team all day on the day of the Hogsmeade trip. He wasn’t excited about that since his skills were terrible but he wasn’t feeling like going to Hogsmeade anyway. For some reason, Harry leaving him for a date didn’t sit well with him. But he felt a bit guilty about leaving Hermione all on her own. He supposed, however, that she was excited to finally have some peace and quiet since neither Harry nor Ron would bother her. Lately, Ron was struggling a lot to feel positive, since everything was going downhill so much. Plus, all his efforts to help Harry weren’t very fruitful. But he still pushed himself to do better, to be better. For Harry.

Harry tried to make himself look nice on the day of the Hogsmeade trip. Even though he seemed to think he looked absolutely miserable, Ron thought he looked quite charming. He didn’t dare to say it though, for some reason it didn’t seem proper. He only gave Harry an encouraging smile and wished him good luck.

“Good luck to you too,” said Harry. “With the practice.”

“Ah, thanks,” mumbled Ron. “I think luck is the only thing that could save us.”

“You just need to believe in yourself a little bit,” replied Harry resolutely. Unfortunately, believing in himself wasn’t on Ron’s repertoire lately.

Harry was about to leave the dormitory but then he turned around, ever so slowly, as if thinking about something. Ron looked at him curiously. Then, Harry walked towards him, seemingly having an internal discussion with himself about something. He gave Ron a strange look as if he was afraid of something but somewhat nicely afraid. Then, he took Ron’s hand, brought it to his face and kissed softly over Ron’s knuckles.

“For good luck,” whispered Harry with a soft smile and Ron felt like all the air in his lungs disappeared. Then, Harry quickly left and Ron was left wondering if he dreamt it.

Quidditch practice was tiring and difficult. However confident and encouraged Ron might have felt after what happened in the morning with Harry, he quickly lost it during the practice. Harry and Hermione returned for dinner and found Ron sitting alone at the Gryffindor table, looking exhausted and miserable. Harry told him that his date was kind of a disaster, and for some reason it made Ron feel better and he hated himself for it. Because what kind of friend enjoys his best friend’s ruined date? Then, Hermione proceeded to tell him about the interview she convinced Harry to do for _the Quibbler_ written by Rita Skeeter. And even though it would probably get Harry, and everyone who reads it, into trouble, Ron was very proud of both of his friends for doing it. And what was more, Harry looked quite happy about it too, his ruined date somewhat forgotten.

*

For the next few days, everything was going the same. Ron would make sure that Harry ate his meals and drank his potions, stop him in the nights from running, only for it to be ruined by another Occlumency lesson, after which Ron would find Harry running on the Quidditch pitch. Ron would sit down on a bench and wait for Harry to stop running. Then, they would silently walk back to the castle. Next to this, they had a lot of homework and studying to do, and Ron had very intense Quidditch practices. None of this was improving his mood, he felt himself being more and more sad and hopeless about what might come. He was sure Harry didn’t notice because Ron made sure he wouldn’t, putting a lot of effort into being positive around his friend. But Hermione did. There was no fooling her, not that Ron would dare to try. So, while Harry was in his Occlumency lesson, she took his hand and sat him down on the sofa in the common room.

“Ron, you can’t keep going like this,” she said, sounding troubled. “This isn’t helping anyone.”

“What am I supposed to do then?” asked Ron, putting his head in his hands.

“You have to do something that makes you happy. You can’t just be there for everyone else and forget about yourself,” replied Hermione.

“But don’t you see, Hermione?” wondered Ron miserably. “Being with Harry makes me happy but, at the same time, it also breaks my heart.”

“Oh, Ron,” she sighed. “That’s not a healthy dynamic, you know.”

“I know,” admitted Ron, playing with the hem of his jumper. “But it’s better for it to be like that now, and at least I can hope things will improve, than for me to leave Harry alone and shatter my heart altogether by watching him getting worse.”

“You really do love him, don’t you?” Hermione asked in a small voice.

“I do,” shrugged Ron. “But I love you too, see. I would do the same for you.”

“I know,” she smiled. “Harry and I are the luckiest to land a friend like you,” she continued and Ron blushed. “But you and Harry … you are special to each other. You both are. I just sometimes fear you forget about your own specialness.”

Ron thought a lot about Hermione’s words. He thought about if he truly was special to Harry. Maybe Harry just clung to the first person that would offer him any sort of comfort. But no, Harry wasn’t like that. Although right now, he might have been getting lost in his own misery, he valued people. He valued Ron.

Soon, there was a Quidditch match against Hufflepuff and Ron was doing terribly. By some miracle, they only lost by ten points because Ginny managed to catch the Snitch. But Ron was furious with himself for letting so many points just go by. After the match, Ron just wanted to close himself off in his bed and never see anyone ever again. Which was exactly what he did. Only after a few minutes, the curtains around his bed opened slightly and Ron looked up to see Harry looking at him curiously.

“Did you eat dinner?” Ron asked. He had dinner earlier because they had to practice before the match and couldn’t watch over Harry, therefore. Hermione assured him that she was going to keep an eye on the boy.

“Yes,” said Harry with a slight smile. “You’re incredible, you know that?”

“Well, the match would tell you otherwise, actually,” replied Ron and Harry just grinned, which slightly melted Ron’s heart. Then, Harry climbed into the bed, pushing Ron aside, and closing the curtains around them.

“Here you are, not having the greatest time of your life,” continued Harry, “and the first thing you care about is if I ate enough.”

“Yeah,” shrugged Ron. “Someone has to.”

“Well, sometimes,” said Harry, “it’s okay to care about your own worries, you know. I shouldn’t be your first priority.”

“But you are,” admitted Ron, “so … there’s that.”

“Ron,” smiled Harry and took Ron’s hand in his own, “you are my favourite person in the world,” he said and Ron’s heart jumped into his throat. “Which is why I cannot let you forget about yourself.”

Ron wasn’t sure what to say, he was just staring at their intertwined hands in Harry’s lap. He wished that, perhaps, if things were different, he’d have a clearer idea about what to do. Suddenly, there was a hand on his cheek and Ron looked up to see Harry giving him a soft smile and, for a moment, Ron forgot everything else and just had a whisp of sense of the Nimbus Harry coming back to him. Harry’s thumb gently caressed Ron’s cheek and Ron was almost too afraid to breathe.

“You have so many freckles,” chuckled Harry, “it’s like a little bit of universe on your face,” he said and Ron blushed deeply. “Come on, let’s go to sleep.”

Ron nodded, unable to say anything, and lied down. Harry lied down next to him, hugging him tightly and placing his head on Ron’s chest. And it was then when Ron realised, he wanted it to be like this all the time.

*

Harry’s interview in _the Quibbler_ soon came out and he received the newest issue, which was sporting Harry’s face on the cover, in the mail on Monday morning. A lot of letters from readers also came alongside the copy. Ron and Hermione started opening the letters, finding out a lot of them to be nasty, but at least some were quite nice. Harry didn’t seem to be too bothered about the hate mail and Ron was glad. It did have consequence, however. When Umbridge saw the copy, she took points from Gryffindor, banned Harry from Hogsmeade and gave him another week of detention. She also forbade everyone to read it, which only raised the popularity of the interview. Harry, although feeling miserable for having detention and being banned from Hogsmeade, seemed to be quite happy about the whole thing. More people kept coming to him and telling him they believed him. And what was more, Seamus finally believed him too, which Ron knew meant a huge deal to Harry. By the evening, however, Harry seemed to feel overwhelmed by the whole thing, and he went to bed early.

“I’m hopeful, you know,” said Hermione as she and Ron were sitting by the fire in the common room. “Things are getting slowly better, don’t you think?”

“I guess so,” shrugged Ron.

“You seem to be feeling slightly better, too,” she smiled.

“Yeah … er … it seems that Harry … er … noticed my worries,” explained Ron nervously. “I guess … I feel appreciated in a way,” he settled on saying, not really sure how to explain it further to Hermione. She just gave him a sweet smile, reassuring, and there was no need to say anything else.

Harry was already asleep when Ron entered the dormitory but, to Ron’s surprise, he was asleep in Ron’s bed, leaving a bit of space next to him for Ron. Ron felt warm at the sight and he carefully climbed into the bed next to Harry. His good feeling was short-lived, however, because Harry frantically thrashed next to him in the middle of the night, screaming on top of his lungs and falling off the bed. Ron quickly rushed to him, helping him out of the bed curtains that he entangled himself into, and helping him sit up on the bed.

“Did you see You-Know-Who?” Ron asked, drawing soothing circles on Harry’s back. The other boys in the dormitory were woken up too, looking at them, unsure of what to do. Ron told them again to go back to sleep and tucked Harry in bed, closing the curtains around them to give them some privacy.

“I was You-Know-Who,” whispered Harry sounding very terrified.

“You should tell someone,” said Ron worriedly.

“No, I’m supposed to be able to shut this stuff out,” Harry said. “If I was any good at Occlumency, I wouldn’t see it at all. And that’s what Dumbledore wants.”

“What Dumbledore wants isn’t always the right thing,” muttered Ron. “Does anything hurt?”

“Just my scar,” replied Harry as if it wasn’t even worth mentioning.

Without thinking about his action, Ron placed his hands carefully on Harry’s cheeks, turning his head to look at Ron, and then placing a soft kiss on Harry’s forehead, just on his scar. Harry inhaled sharply that Ron was afraid he might have hurt him, but then he gave Ron a small smile.

“For the pain to go away,” mumbled Ron and Harry just nodded.

When they told Hermione about the nightmare the next day, she only insisted that Harry should put more effort into Occlumency, which made Harry a bit moody. They didn’t talk about the nightmare after that. Harry’s Occlumency lesson wasn’t as bad as it usually was, but it still wasn’t the best. When Ron went to find him afterwards and Harry was about to go running, they were interrupted by the scene in the courtyard, where Umbridge was firing Professor Trelawney.

The days were pretty much the same, they had a lot of studying, a lot of homework, and the DA kept them busy. Ron thought quite proudly that Harry’s eating habits were improving, and even Madame Pomfrey seemed to confirm that Harry has gained some healthy amount of weight. They still shared a bed, Harry just climbed straight into Ron’s bed when they went to sleep, not bothering to wait for the middle of the night. The other boys in the dormitory never mentioned it, and Ron was glad.

*

Suddenly, it was April and they were learning to cast the Patronus charm in their DA meeting. It was such a calm and happy class, and Ron felt confident after producing his Patronus, his happy memories mostly containing the moment spent with the Nimbus Harry. Harry was going around, making sure that people were doing it right, looking content and Ron couldn’t keep his eyes off him. Then, all the happiness vanished as Dobby appeared to warn them about Umbridge finding them and they all ran out, trying to escape. Harry was taken to Dumbledore’s office and Ron was so anxious about what might happen. It turned out, Dumbledore took the blame and escaped, Umbridge making herself the Headmistress, and Harry was angry, understandably.

The next day Fred and George warned them they were planning something big for later. Hermione gave them a disapproving glare but Ron knew that secretly she supported them. Harry was taken to Umbridge’s office later, where she questioned him about Dumbledore and Sirius. The questioning was interrupted, however, by the twins’ planned mischief. A loud bang erupted through the school and then There were enchanted fireworks everywhere. Dragons of green and gold sparks were soaring up and down the corridors, firecrackers were exploding like mines everywhere. It was so funny. Professor Umbridge spent her first afternoon as Headmistress running all over the school answering the summonses of the other teachers, none of whom seemed able to rid their rooms of the fireworks without her. Fred and George were the heroes and everyone cheered when they entered the Gryffindor common room that night.

Harry seemed to be in quite a good mood when they went to bed but woke up from a nightmare in the middle of the night again. It wasn’t the worst, though, but still, Harry was quite miserable the next day and it was much harder for Ron to make him eat properly. He went to find Harry after his Occlumency lesson, as usual, only to meet him on his way from the Quidditch pitch, already done with his running.

“You finished early today,” said Ron.

“Yeah,” nodded Harry, “Snape said … er … that I don’t need any more classes,” he explained but Ron knew he was probably lying but didn’t address it.

Soon, it was the Easter holiday, so lots of students went home. Most of the fifth-years and seventh-years stayed in school, however, because of their upcoming exams. This was exactly how Ron, Harry and Hermione spend most of their time as well. Harry seemed troubled about something all the time and he wanted to speak to Sirius very badly. On the last day of the Easter holiday, the twins brought up the idea of helping to create a diversion so Harry could sneak into Umbridge’s office and talk to Sirius through the fireplace there.

The next day, Hermione kept nagging Harry about how bad the whole idea was but he still insisted on doing it. She was quite angry with Ron as well for supporting Harry in it. In the end, it worked out well. What Ron was astonished about was Fred and George finishing off their diversion by escaping the school on their brooms. It was brilliant and it set Harry in a very happy mood. Ron was worried a little bit, however, that his mum was going to blame him for the twins’ departure. They told everyone, as they were leaving, that they had a place in Diagon Alley, where they would sell their products. Ron was just wondering how they got it. He voiced it to Harry as they were getting to bed.

“Oh …,” said Harry, a bit nervously, “I suppose I can tell you now. I … er … gave them my Triwizard winnings,” he admitted.

“But this is excellent!” said Ron, turning to Harry and looking thrilled. “It’s all your fault, Harry – Mum can’t blame me at all! Can I tell her?”

“Sure,” Harry shrugged as he climbed into Ron’s bed.

“You’re brilliant!” beamed Ron, lying next to Harry and closing the curtains around them.

When he turned to Harry, it seemed like the boy was blushing slightly and Ron had the sudden urge to kiss him. He didn’t, though, as he feared that would ruin something between them and that he would be taking advantage of the whole situation. He just smiled at Harry instead, squeezing his hand a little bit. When he was about to let Harry’s hand go, Harry grabbed Ron’s hand more firmly and brought it to his face, kissing softly over Ron’s knuckles. Ron felt his breath being taken away from his lungs as Harry let go of his hand, smiling softly and then lying down, placing his head on Ron’s chest.

The next weeks went by slowly, and their routine was the same as always. Hermione kept trying to make Harry ask Snape for more Occlumency lessons or at least try to block his mind on his own but Harry wouldn’t hear it. It was true that although his nightmares weren’t so common lately, or at least weren’t so traumatizing, he still kept muttering in his sleep. But Ron thought that wasn’t so bad, because Harry truly seemed more present lately. As if he was slowly but surely coming back to the Nimbus Harry that Ron’s mind clutched to so desperately.

The final match of the Quidditch season approached, which was Gryffindor versus Ravenclaw. Ron was feeling very nervous and anxious about the whole thing. The only bright side of it all was that after this match it was going to be over and he wouldn’t need to embarrass himself on a broom anymore. However, by some miracle, maybe it was his luck finally returning, he was actually good. And the match went brilliantly. The Gryffindors started singing _Weasley is our king_ with changed lyrics, so it was actually quite encouraging. And Gryffindor won the match, and also won the Quidditch Cup. Ron couldn’t believe it. He felt exhilarated as he ran out of the Quidditch pitch straight to Harry and Hermione yelling about their win. Both Hermione and Harry enveloped him in a group hug before Ron was escorted by the rest of the team to the Gryffindor common room for celebrations. Harry told him later, a bit ashamed, that he actually didn’t see the match, as he and Hermione had to follow Hagrid into the Forbidden Forest to meet with Grawp – Hagrid’s half-brother. Although Ron was a bit sad that Harry didn’t see his wonderful performance, he didn’t blame Harry nor Hermione and understood why Hagrid needed to show them at that time.

“I’m still sorry I couldn’t see you,” admitted Harry sheepishly as they lied in bed that night.

“It’s okay,” smiled Ron. “Honestly. You always believed I could do it and I did … even if it took me a bit longer.”

“You were just saving your best for the last,” grinned Harry.

*

Soon, it was June already which meant that their exams were rapidly approaching. They all were stressed about it, so they kept on studying. Ron felt that he forgot everything he’s learnt. But eventually, the exams approached and Ron felt that he was doing alright. Not the best, probably, but whenever was he aiming to be the best? During their Astronomy exam, however, they were interrupted by a scene they could see outside from the Astronomy Tower. Some people marched towards Hagrid’s hut, entering it and then they could hear a distant roar from the cabin. Then, there was a loud BANG echoing from the grounds. Hagrid’s door had burst open and by the light flooding out of the cabin, they saw him quite clearly. It appeared that all the figures around him were attempting to Stun him.

“No!” cried Hermione.

Nobody was paying attention to their charts anymore; they were all watching what was happening on the grounds. Soon, Professor McGonagall appeared on the grounds.

“Leave him alone! _Alone_ , I say!” she said. “On what grounds are you attacking him? He has done nothing, nothing to warrant such –“

Hermione, Parvati and Lavender all screamed. The figures around the cabin had shot no fewer than four Stunners at Professor McGonagall and she landed on her back. Then Hagrid was fighting with them some more until he ran away into the darkness. They were all shaken a bit after that incident, hoping that Hagrid was safe, and of course, that Professor McGonagall was alright.

The last exam was from the History of Magic. Ron was writing the test, when, in the middle of the exam, Harry suddenly screamed and fell to the ground. Everyone jumped and looked at Harry. Ron quickly forgot about his exam and just rushed to his friend, only to be told by the professors that he must remain seated. Harry was taken out to the Entrance Hall and everyone was reminded to finish their exams. Ron didn’t know how he was supposed to focus now when his best friend was outside, and he wasn’t even sure if he was okay. Somehow, he managed to finish the exam, only because he kept thinking of the disappointed look his mum would give him if he didn’t. Then, he and Hermione rushed outside to find Harry, who frantically told them about his vision of the Department of Mysteries, and how Voldemort had Sirius and that they needed to go and save him.

*

Ron woke up in the Hospital Wing after the events at the Ministry. It wasn’t probably too long since they were escorted back to school. Ron looked around and saw Neville, Luna, Ginny and Hermione all lying in beds. They all seemed to be okay, Hermione was the only one who got badly hurt but she seemed to be fine now. A huge relief spread over him. Then he tried to locate Harry and got extremely worried when he couldn’t. He asked Madame Pomfrey, who noticed he was awake and started checking over him.

“Mr Potter is with the Headmaster,” she informed him. “But I’m sure he’ll be here soon, you need to rest.”

“No … I need to see Harry!” exclaimed Ron and started getting up.

“You will do no such thing, Mr Weasley!” said Madame Pomfrey sternly.

But Ron ignored her, running out of the Hospital Wing before she could stop him. He ran towards the Headmaster’s office, shouting all sorts of different sweets at the gargoyle untill he was eventually taken up, which he thought was the gargoyle getting annoyed with him rather than Ron guessing the right password. As he stood outside of the door, he could hear Harry yelling at Dumbledore. Then, Dumbledore was saying something and Ron waited a while longer before knocking on the door. The door opened, Ron walked in, finding the office in an absolute mess, as if someone just barged in and broke everything, they put their hands on. Harry looked absolutely miserable. He was still visibly injured, but there were dried tears on his face and Ron’s heart just broke at the sight of him.

“Mr Weasley,” smiled Dumbledore. “I was just finished talking to Harry, you may escort him to the Hospital Wing.”

Harry was staring at the floor, trembling slightly and Ron carefully moved closer to him, taking his hand but not leading him out of the room just yet.

“Can Harry stay in the Burrow this summer?” asked Ron and gave Dumbledore a piercing look.

“I’m afraid Harry has to stay with his relatives,” replied Dumbledore.

“No,” said Ron firmly. “He’s staying with me.”

“Mr Weasley,” chuckled Dumbledore. “I’m afraid that is not as easy as you might think.”

“I won’t let him go back to that awful place,” said Ron. “Not now, not ever. You may want him to stay there but I will go and bring him to the Burrow just like last year if I have to. Or I stay there with him, I don’t care. But I’m not leaving Harry alone!” he exclaimed and Harry gave him a bewildered look.

“It is quite rare to see people care so deeply about each other,” smiled Dumbledore kindly. “But I’m afraid if Harry stayed the whole summer, it would put your whole family in danger.”

“We don’t care!” said Ron fiercely. “My family has made it quite clear already that they would do anything to protect Harry! And you …,” he paused nervously and then gathered all his courage, “you are the most powerful wizard there is! I’m sure there is something you can do so that we’re all safe!”

“I see you have quite made up your mind,” said Dumbledore calmly. “Alright, I will see what I can do. Mr Weasley, you must know that Harry’s safety and wellbeing are in my best interest.”

“Yeah, well,” shrugged Ron. “Judging by this year, sorry that I don’t trust you on that one so much.”

“Ron!” Harry gasped next to him and Dumbledore only gave him a somewhat regretful look.

“Very well,” said Dumbledore, “I will see what I can do, Mr Weasley. Now, please, you both need rest.”

Ron nodded and grasped Harry’s hand more firmly, leading him out of the office. As soon as they were out in the corridor, Ron stopped walking and turned to Harry, grabbing him gently by the shoulders and observing him. Harry didn’t look at him, keeping his head bowed and staring at the floor.

“Harry,” whispered Ron gently, “please, it’s not your fault.”

“It is,” said Harry in a small voice. “Sirius is dead because of me. Everyone is hurt because of me.”

“No!” said Ron resolutely. “It was our choice to join you. We all knew what might happen. This is what he wants you to think. He wants you to blame yourself. But the only one to blame is him.”

“But how many people will die for me, Ron?” cried Harry. “First Cedric, then Sirius. Who’s next? Hermione? You?”

“Harry,” sighed Ron. “I can’t tell you what’s going to happen. But you didn’t choose this. We did. We chose you. And I can’t speak for the others, but I will always choose you,” he said and Harry finally looked up at him, his eyes glistening with tears and searching for something in Ron’s face.

“I can’t bear to lose you too, Ron,” mumbled Harry. “Not you,” he added almost inaudibly.

“You won’t lose me,” said Ron firmly and pulled Harry into a tight hug. The boy collapsed into his chest and Ron felt that if he let him go, he would fall onto the ground.

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep,” whispered Harry into Ron’s chest.

“It’s not a promise,” said Ron. “It’s a resolution,” he added and they stayed silent for a while. “Come on, we should get to the Hospital Wing. Madame Pomfrey probably had a heart attack because I ran away.”

Harry slowly broke away from the tight hug, giving Ron a bewildered look, then he slowly nodded and Ron took his hand, walking them back to the Hospital Wing. Madame Pomfrey scolded Ron quite a lot when they arrived but then paid attention to Harry and his injuries. He wasn’t injured physically that much. But Ron knew that the mental scars might never heal. Madame Pomfrey started preparing a bed for Harry but Ron stopped her, telling her they’ll share his. She gave them a curious look and said something about her not caring as long as they really rest. They lied on the bed together, Ron tucking Harry close to him.

“Does your scar hurt?” he asked quietly into the darkness.

“It’s fine,” mumbled Harry but Ron didn’t believe him, so he put his hand under Harry’s chin, making his face look up at him, and then bent down to give him a soft kiss on his forehead.

The next day was a sunny day, and, for a moment, it seemed to Ron as if it all was a bad dream. Hermione read them _the Daily Prophet_ out loud, as Ron and Harry lied together in Ron’s bed next to hers. Fudge has finally admitted that Lord Voldemort has returned. Dumbledore was reassigned to be the Headmaster of Hogwarts and then the Prophet spoke about Harry too. This time they were praising him, saying that he was the lone voice of truth. Hermione was the only one, who had to stay in the Hospital Wing for the following days but she was recovering well.

Hagrid returned, so Ron and Harry visited him almost every day. Ron tried to somehow make it all easier on Harry, only he wasn’t sure how, so he just stuck to the simple things. Harry was mostly quiet and Ron let him, knowing that he needed to grieve. But he never left his side. He made sure Harry ate at least a little bit and that he didn’t erase all the steps of recovery they took over the past year. When Hermione was let out of the Hospital Wing, Ron was relieved. Not only because she was alright, but also because he needed someone to be there with him when Harry was so distant. Ron and Hermione sat together in the common room one evening and Harry disappeared into the dormitory, wanting to go to sleep. Ron decided to give him some time alone and spend some time with Hermione instead.

“How is he coping?” she asked carefully.

“It’s not the worst,” shrugged Ron. “He just needs some time.”

“And how are you coping?” she moved closer, taking Ron’s hand in hers.

“I’m fine,” said Ron. “Just feel a bit useless.”

“You’re not useless. Harry’s got so much better, all thanks to you,” smiled Hermione. “He’ll be okay. But you need to be okay too, Ron.”

“I know,” replied Ron, giving Hermione a reassuring smile. “We’ll get through this together. All three of us.”

At that point, Harry walked back down to the common room, appearing behind them. Ron and Hermione jumped slightly and turned to Harry.

“Er … sorry to interrupt,” said Harry sheepishly. “I … I couldn’t sleep. I was wondering … er … if Ron was coming to bed soon,” he finished, looking down at the floor.

“Of course,” smiled Ron. “I’m beaten, anyway. Good night, Hermione.”

“Good night,” said Hermione, giving them both a kind smile and getting up to disappear into her dormitory as well.

“I didn’t want to interrupt you two,” whispered Harry as they climbed to bed together. “I know you missed Hermione a lot.”

“Of course, I did,” shrugged Ron. “But it’s late now, anyway.”

“Ron?” asked Harry carefully. “Do you … er … do you and Hermione … er … are you together?”

“No,” chuckled Ron as if it was the stupidest question. “Of course, I care about her a lot but we’re just friends, you know that.”

“Sorry … it just kind of made sense,” said Harry nervously. “I wouldn’t mind … you know.”

“Yeah, well,” smiled Ron. “It just happens that I care about you a bit more,” he said and Harry blushed deeply, not saying another word, but squeezing Ron’s hand in his.

*

Eventually, it was decided that Harry was going to go straight to the Burrow with the Weasleys. Dumbledore warned them about not leaving the property and about all the precautions he and the Aurors had to make for them to be safe. Ron was just happy that Harry was coming with him, and that he didn’t need to leave him. Hermione was going to spend some time with her parents but she would come to the Burrow in the middle of summer as well. As soon as they left the Hogwarts Express, Mrs Weasley enveloped them both in a tight hug, telling Harry how happy she was that he was able to stay with them.

Mrs Weasley had chores ready for them to do over the next few days and Ron was glad because it seemed to distract Harry. The Burrow was unusually quiet, with Fred and George moved away to their new flat and Mr Weasley mostly in work, it was just Harry, Ron, Ginny and Mrs Weasley. They went flying occasionally and Harry seemed to be slowly cheering up. He also spent a lot of time in the kitchen with Mrs Weasley, helping her cook. Overall, Ron felt a familiar sense, as if they were back to the summer before, which made him hopeful for the Nimbus Harry to appear once again.

One evening, Harry was showering and Ron sneaked into the kitchen for a snack. His hope to grab something unnoticed, died straight away, as Mrs Weasley was in the kitchen, preparing some sort of dough for the next day.

“You can have some biscuits, Ron, but not a lot,” she said sternly and Ron happily took them and turned to leave. “Wait! I want to talk to you.”

“Er … what about?” asked Ron nervously.

“Harry seems to be getting better,” she smiled. “At least a little bit.”

“Yes,” nodded Ron. “I’m glad.”

“I’m proud of you, Ron,” said Mrs Weasley kindly and Ron gave her a surprised look. “You’re a good boy. I’m glad you boys have each other.”

“Thanks, mum,” said Ron nervously.

“You know I noticed that the mattress in your room hasn’t been slept in,” continued Mrs Weasley with a knowing look. “I just want you to know that you can tell me anything.”

“Um …,” Ron blushed. “There’s nothing to tell, really.”

“Alright,” smiled Mrs Weasley. “Just know that we’re all proud of the both of you, and always will be.”

“I know,” nodded Ron, giving his mum a happy smile, before walking back up to his room.

He ate his biscuits as he was sat on the bed and soon, Harry came in, giving Ron an amused look when he saw the boy eating.

“You’re not hungry?” asked Ron, holding out the last biscuit.

“No,” smiled Harry. “I had dinner, remember?”

“Yeah, but just in case,” shrugged Ron.

“I know you want to eat the last biscuit,” chuckled Harry and sat down next to Ron. “I’m happy for you to do so.”

“Thanks,” grinned Ron and ate the last biscuit.

They were sitting close to each other and Harry took Ron’s hand, intertwining their fingers. Ron started caressing Harry’s hand with his thumb and they stayed silent for a while, just enjoying the calmness.

“Does your scar hurt anymore?” asked Ron suddenly.

“Not really,” shrugged Harry.

Still, Ron put his hand under Harry’s chin, making the boy look up at him, as he did so many times before. Then he brushed the fringe off Harry’s forehead and moved closer to brush his lips there. As he reached closer, however, Harry sat up a bit more and moved his head, so Ron was now close to his lips. Ron stopped, being only a breath away from the boy and gave Harry a searching look. Harry was looking at him expectantly but Ron didn’t dare to move, didn’t dare to cross that bridge. Then, Harry smiled softly before closing the gap between them himself. It was as if the last missing piece of the puzzle finally came into Ron’s life. The kiss was shy as if Harry was just testing the waters, giving Ron the space to come back to the shore any time. But Ron didn’t. Instead, he put his hand on the back of Harry’s neck to bring him closer to himself and gently kissed him back. Then, they broke apart, grinning at each other like fools.

“Was this for any pain to go away or for good luck?” asked Ron.

“Neither,” Harry shook his head. “It’s so you know how much you mean to me,” he said sheepishly.

And because Ron didn’t know how else to say it, and because he could, he kissed Harry once again. It was then, when he realised, that it didn’t matter what version of Harry was there, because he was, foolishly, and utterly, in love with all of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, that's it folks. I might write more to this story at some point, but this is it for now  
> Thanks so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed. And if you did, please let me know <3

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> Let me know what you think :)


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